Shell seems to have turned over a new leaf and is informing everyone who will listen that she’s got religion. The POs react in different ways to his news—while Fenner is suspicious, Lorna is relieved because Shell has assured her that there will be no more drug runs. Crystal cautiously accepts the sincerity of Shell’s reform and is inspired by her suggestion to writer a letter to ‘The Guardian’ in order to lift the lid on G-Wing’s drug epidemic. For good measure, she hands Shell her bible and invites her to the chapel for worship.
Helen overhears Monica instructing her solicitor to drop her appeal and is dismayed. She tries to persuade Monica to change her mind but she is resolute—now that Spencer is dead, she has nothing left to live for. Nikki decides to see if she can succeed where Helen failed. Although unyielding at first, Monica finally agrees to reconsider her decision. What Nikki doesn’t know is that Monica’s turnaround has less to so with a genuine change of heart and more to do with preventing Nikki from uncovering her secret. She’s working on a different way of leaving Larkhall, one that involves the hoard of sleeping pills that she is hiding in the bottom of her toothpaste tube.
Crystal’s letter is published in ‘The Guardian’ and Fenner is unable to hide his glee. A furious Stubberfield makes it clear that he holds Helen and her progressive ideas solely responsible. She tries to defend herself—the drug problem in Larkhall is no different to other prisons—but Stubberfield refuses to listen. Down on the wing, Crystal is brought back down to earth with a bump when she realises that Zandra and the Julies are furious with her. They believe that the letter will lead to closed visits. As they fume at Crystal, Shell and Denny look on in amusement.
Shell persuades Lorna to smuggle one last item onto the wing for her—a bottle of perfume. As Lorna receives delivery of the perfume at home, Shell asks Crystal to accompany her to Helen’s office to help her blow the whistle on a drug-dealing screw. Although sceptical, Helen can’t ignore the accusation. She stakes out the landing and catches Lorna in the act. A DST officer pulls the packaging apart and finds a bag of white powder nestling between the layers of cardboard. Shell watches smugly from her cell window as Lorna is escorted to a waiting police car.
The following morning, Shell receives a hostile reception from the other women. By setting up Lorna, she has caused the departure of one of the few decent screws on G-Wing and has also given Stubberfield the excuse he needed to order closed visits. New inmate Yvonne Atkins is escorted into this tense atmosphere. She is the wife of a well-known gangster and it’s clear that her influence on the outside will ensure that she’s a formidable force on G-Wing. Denny is impressed, Shell, sensing competition, is not.
Finding no comfort at home or amongst her staff, Helen goes in search of support and consolation and lets herself into Nikki’s cell. Watching Helen dissolve into tears, Nikki responds with her heart and draws her into a kiss. After reciprocating briefly, Helen comes to her senses and pulls away. As Nikki stammers an apology, Helen flees.
Memorable Moments
Sean – “Takes the body thirty-six hours.”
Helen – “To do what?”
Sean – “To get rid of the alcohol from a glass of wine.”
Helen – “How long does it take to get rid of the shit from a day on my job?”
Denny – “You was drinking it n’all bitch.”
Crystal – “It was a wake; I was doing it out of respect.”
Julie S – “Oh take the cork out of your arse will you Crystal?”
Fenner – “The nearest you’ll ever get to religion is the missionary position!”
Zandra – “Come on you twatting twat! I said come on!”
Crystal – “Calm down!”
Zandra – “Bloody windows! They’re all spastics!”
Julie J – “Is she for real?”
Crystal – “That’s between Shell and the Lord, if she’s pretending he’s sure gonna be one angry Messiah!”
Julie S – “And I suppose you’ve found salvation as well have you Denny?”
Denny – “I don’t do everything Shell tells me, alright?”
Zandra – “If Shell told her to live in a barrel of shit she’d do it.”
Both Julies – (Watching Denny attack Zandra with a pool cue) “Oh very Christian!”
Julie S – “You might get your bleedin’ jollies by singing to the Lord but what about us?”
Julie J – “Yeah, what about us you stupid cow?”
Crystal – “When it stops the drugs getting in here you’ll thank me one day.’”
Zandra – “And, you might get your reward in heaven sooner than you think.”
Hollamby – “Best news I’ve heard in ages.”
Dominic – “What? Ninety women on a short fuse? Dead cushy.”
Hollamby – “Yes, well any trouble you just bang ‘em up. Happiness is door-shaped as far as I’m concerned.”
