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Series 6 Episodes
Episode 6.6 Launch Episode Viewer

Glamour hits Larkhall in the form of footballers’ wife, Tanya Turner, when she is driven through the prison gates in a van. This is all manna from heaven for the tabloids who have sent a rugby scrum of journalists and paparazzi down to the prison to record every moment of Tanya’s fall from grace. If Tanya think that a strip-search is the worst humiliation she will suffer, she is sorely mistaken. Al and Darlene rub their hands in glee when Tanya is allocated a bunk in the four-bed dorm. After lock-up, they hold her down and rip her false fingernails off. Enter Tina to the rescue. She’s taken a real shine to Tanya and pleads with them to stop—she’ll even give them some rhubarb hooch if they leave her idol alone.

Neil is furious that all of G-Wing’s officers have tested positive for heroin and orders Frances not to rest until she finds out who is behind it. Frances summons Colin to her office and demands to know if he doctored the samples to get back at her after seeing her with another man. Put on the spot, Colin blurts out the truth—he’s a junkie. Frances immediately demands his resignation—as from his moment he’s working a month’s notice and will report for regular urine tests. Meanwhile, Kris is furious when Selena informs her that she is booked on a flight to Canada. She warns Selena that if her freedom means Milly going to jail, their relationship is over.

Di has sent a box of key-hole shaped biscuits into the POs to thank them for being so understanding about Fenner’s ‘illness’. Colin is contemplating one of the biscuits when Hollamby arrives with a large luxury hamper bound for Tanya. Hollamby can’t believe that Neil is so petrified of the press that he’s prepared to allow an inmate to receive gifts. Hollamby goes through the hamper and confiscates everything that takes her fancy before throwing in Di’s biscuits as a quid pro quo. Later, Al and Darlene scoff the lot as Tanya looks on.

Phyl and Bev are happy—their rhubarb wine is fermenting in the kitchen and they’re both chuffed to bits that they’ve got one over on Frances. They have both also been piss-tested clean and, as a result, Bev receives the red-band that she has been promised. She is given Barbara’s old job of making tea for the POs. But do the Costas have another trick up their sleeve? Bev is very cagy when Julie S borrows the PO’s milk to make pancakes. As Darlene and Al scoff their own pancakes (and Tanya’s), Tina gives them each a mug of the hooch…before long, the whole wing is partaking.

Now fearing for her life, Tanya grabs a lifeline that may pull her out of prison. Rick Revoir, a yardie gangster and Tanya’s coke dealer, offers her a deal—get him a visit with Darlene and he’ll get someone to confess to planting the cocaine in her handbag. To make his point, Rick gives Tanya an asthma inhaler to pass on to Darlene as a present from her younger brother, Terence. Tanya is horrified when Darlene opens the inhaler and finds one of Terence’s toes. Upon leaving the prison, Rick notices Frances and decides to follow her to a nearby bar. Frances is pleasantly surprised when she encounters Rick—she hasn’t seen him since her time on the Vice Squad. As Frances and Rick catch up, they are unaware that Colin is watching.

Out in the garden, Kris starts to throw up, but she’s not the only one—the rest of the inmates are also dropping like flies. By the time Dr Nicholson arrives on G-Wing, everyone apart from Tanya, Phyl, and Bev are heaving up their entrails. Nicholson is completely stumped by the epidemic but suspects that it is some sort of viral infection. As he informs an angry Neil that all they can do is allow the illness to run its course, Tina discovers that Al has stopped breathing. Dr Nicholson performs an emergency tracheotomy, but it is too late…Al is dead.

Memorable Moments

Tanya – “That van smelt like shit.”
Hollamby – “Oh I’m sorry, we’ve been on at them for months to provide eau de toilette and hot towels.”

Tanya – (Takes off jewellery) “Christ! I feel naked.”
Hollamby – “You will be…in the cubicle.” (Snaps on rubber gloves)

Tanya – “I want to speak to the manager…or the boss, or whatever they’re called.”
Hollamby – “Manager? You’re not in one of your fancy hotels now.”

Tanya – “Alright sistah? I’m Tanya, how’s it wid you? One time! (Pause for Marcia to look up at Tanya like she’s just arrived from another planet) Yeah, I just arrived man; I got busted for possession, probably got word yeah?”
Marcia – (Posh voice) “Do I know you?”
Tanya – “Just saying…what’s up?”
Marcia – “What’s up?(sucks her teeth)”
Tanya – “So, who is you?”
Marcia – “I is a sister what is gonna mash your head if you don’t get outta my space! You get me?”

Tanya – “Jesus! How am I going to deal with this shit-hole?”
Al – “You’re talking about the place I live! You saying I’m shite n’all?”

Tanya – “Help yourselves.”
Darlene – “To what? Not even any chocolate or nuttin’”
Al – “All this money and you spend it on shite. (Picks up pineapple) Like who eats fruit?”

Darlene – (Bites into one of Di’s biscuits) “Tastes like it supposed to be some kind of biscuit.”
Al – “Looks like thistles (struggles to bite into biscuit) tastes like thistles n’all.”

Al – “Mental!”
Darlene – “Me’s in hooch heaven!”

Frances – “Who gave you the makeover? Come on! You didn’t look like that yesterday. Look, if you’re being bullied, tell me and I can help.”
Tanya – “Don’t you worry about me darlin’, I’ll sort out anybody who thinks they can get the better of me.”


Series 1 Episodes
Series 2 Episodes
Series 3 Episodes
Series 4 Episodes
Series 5 Episodes
Series 6 Episodes
Episode 6.1
Episode 6.2
Episode 6.3
Episode 6.4
Episode 6.5
Episode 6.6
Episode 6.7
Episode 6.8
Episode 6.9
Episode 6.10
Episode 6.11
Episode 6.12
Series 7 Episodes
Series 8 Episodes