The police are convinced that Tanya poisoned her fellow inmates with the contents of her hamper in revenge for being bullied. But there is a huge hole in their case—Di’s biscuits and the fact that they were placed in the hamper after most of the original contents were confiscated. Although Di desperately pleads her innocence, Kris makes it clear that she doesn’t give a toss when she is called in to answer questions about rhubarb—who better than one of the gardeners to provide Tanya with the murder weapon? After denying everything, Kris warns Phyl and Bev that the poison has been traced back to the rhubarb.
Rick lets Terence go and then sets off to retrieve his bag from Darlene’s locker. He arrives to find that the locker is empty apart from a note informing him that he’ll get his bag when Tanya is freed. Later, Frances arrives home from work to find Rick waiting for her. He knows all about her job at Larkhall and threatens to make their personal involvement public knowledge unless she arranges for him to have a private meeting with Tanya. Frances has no choice but to agree to his demands. To make sure that she realises how serious he is, Rick punches her in the face.
Phyl and Bev are crapping themselves at the prospect of facing Natalie—how are they going to explain the fact that Frances is still alive? Natalie’s revenge is simple, she tells Fenner about the hooch. As a result, Phyl and Bev become the prime suspects. However, as Frances is quick to point out—how can the hooch be responsible for poisoning the wing when some of the women who fell ill are teetotal? Frances suspects Natalie’s involvement, but when blood tests reveal that Tanya is the only woman on the wing to have tested negative for oxalic acid, it seems that the case is solved. Frances isn’t so sure about this though, especially when Tanya reveals that she is pregnant. When pressed, Tanya also confesses the extent of her involvement with Rick. Frances is very interested when she hears that Rick’s bag is now in Tanya’s possession.
Julie J is so preoccupied with her growing attraction to Colin that she has completely forgotten that tomorrow is their joint birthday. Julie S is upset, but when Julie J reveals the true depth of her feelings for Colin, she softens and approaches him in order to ask a favour. Meanwhile, Natalie continues in her attempts to cultivate a friendship with Kris. Although Kris makes no secret of her loathing and contempt, Natalie is determined to get her onside.
After enlisting Colin’s help, Frances arranges for Rick to meet Tanya in a private visiting room. Unaware that Frances and Colin are watching him on CCTV, Rick produces a razor blade and threatens Tanya with it. When they see the blade, Frances and Colin swoop. After disabling Rick, Frances informs him that the police now have his bag and, unless he confesses to setting up Tanya by planting cocaine in her handbag, she’ll make sure that her old colleagues fit him up for every unsolved crime in London. After the police take Rick’s statement, Tanya’s solicitor works quickly and gets her released on bail pending an appeal. Although Tanya shares an emotional farewell with Darlene, the other women are cynical when they hear of her innocence. However, this is nothing compared to their shock when Frances informs them that the police investigation into Al’s death has run into a brick wall.
The inmates assemble for the Julies’ birthday party. Julie J receives a very welcome surprise in the form of Colin—he’s dressed as Elvis and ‘Heartbreak Hotel’ to her. Julie J is overjoyed and now firmly convinced that the man of her dreams returns her feelings. Later, Julie S goes to thank Colin but is horrified when she sees him in a passionate clinch with Frances—she was also impressed with Colin’s performance, so much so in fact that she’s decided that he doesn’t have to resign after all.
Natalie gets upset during the party and returns to her cell. Kris follows her and finds her distraught and sobbing on her bunk—she’s tried so hard with Kris, but she’s still the only person on G-Wing who refuses to believe she’s not a nonce. Disarmed by Natalie’s tears, Kris begins to comfort her and before long, they start to kiss.
Frances – “Cut the bullshit and you might save yourselves a life stretch for murder.”
Phyl – “What are you talking about?”
Frances – “You two are up to your armpits in rhubarb.”
Phyl – “No, you’re just talking rhubarb.”
Phyl – “Bev and I were making a little booze I admit it. What can I tell you Inspector? This place is drier than a Bahrain bar mitzvah.”
