Life on G-Wing is hectic with a batch of new inmates. The arrival of ‘Mad’ Tessa Spall strikes fear into the heart of all of the POs because of her HIV positive status and her reputation for extreme violence—especially towards officers. Karen also has reason to dread her, having crossed swords with her in the past. Also arriving is Barbara Hunt, a terrified and hysterical first-timer—but thanks to a classic Hollamby cock-up, Barbara is misidentified as the mad woman and sedated down the block, while Tessa herself is sent to G-Wing.
Yvonne and Fenner’s unorthodox deal comes to fruition when Yvonne finds herself and gangland husband, Charlie, in a private visiting room…alone. Fenner finds himself a couple of hundred pounds richer, and one step further down the road to corruption, but his greed and hunger for power threaten to be his undoing…this time, he’s playing with the big boys! After a warm reunion, Yvonne tells Charlie all about Fenner’s attempts to call the shots. As far as Charlie’s concerned, it sounds like a certain Principal Officer needs putting in his place.
Doubts begin to grown on G-Wing as to ‘Barbara’s’ true identity as her behaviour becomes frighteningly erratic. She’s already terrorised Shell and engineered a scrap with Nikki that has resulted in Nikki losing her cell on G3 to Yvonne, and is now insisting on being allowed to speak with Karen. Dominic is beginning to worry if some sort of dreadful clerical error has occurred, and he’s proved right when he goes down to the block to speak to a much calmer ‘Tessa’. When he returns to the wing to find out that the real Tessa is already with Karen, he raises the alarm.
Alerted by Dominic, Fenner bursts into Karen’s office but is halted by the sight of Tessa holding a syringe full of HIV infected blood against the Wing Governor’s neck. Tessa holds a huge grudge against Karen for separating her from Debbie, her girlfriend and cellmate at HMP Newby and is hell-bent on revenge. Holding Karen hostage, Tessa makes her way through the prison and out to the front gate. Her intention to escape is clear, but what does this mean for Karen? Fenner and Dominic aren’t about to wait to find out and grab a nearby fire hose. They turn the hose on Tessa, enabling Karen to break free.
Zandra is still complaining of headaches and severe dizzy spells, but Dr ‘No-No’ Nicholson refuses her any medical treatment. He and the POs believe she is still doing drugs and that the headaches are a side-effect, but when Zandra faints in her cell, her friends begin to worry that she has been misdiagnosed. A few doors down, Nikki returns to her cell to find Barbara already installed. Nikki isn’t impressed with this new arrangement, but Hollamby tells her that she’ll have to learn to be sociable—Barbara is claustrophobic and the order to put her in with Nikki came straight from Karen.
Fenner has decided that the golf course is the safest place to collect his pay-offs from Charlie Atkins. But as he counts his ill-gotten gains, he is unaware that he has been caught on camera.
Memorable Moments
Dominic – “I’m going to see if I can talk to her after lunch, when she’s come round a bit.”
Hollamby – “Am I the only one fond of my two ears in this place?”
Shell – “How come everyone’s all over Atkins all of a sudden?”
Denny – “You know why.”
Shell – “I didn’t get no sympathy when my Charlie died.”
Denny – “He was a canary.”
Shell – “So what I thought I’d do right, is I’d bake him a cake and put rat-poison in it, ‘cause he’s a rat right?”
Zandra – “Is that what you did?”
Shell – “No, ‘cause then what I thought is I’d make him jealous instead – I’d shag his best friend.”
Meg – “So you did that instead?”
Shell – “Well no, ‘cause this is my problem right…when it came down to it, I couldn’t bring myself to.”
Meg – “Why?”
Shell – “’Cause he was a dog!”
Meg – “You mean he was ugly?”
Shell – “No, Alsatian.”
Dominic – “I was going to ask, has she got a nickname?”
Hollamby – “Yes, mad!”
Yvonne – “I’m really sorry about this Nikki.”
Nikki – “Not your fault Fenner’s a complete bastard.”
Dominic – “Why are you being so stupid about this? If it really wasn’t your fault why don’t you go and see Miss Betts and tell her what really happened out there?”
Nikki – “Forget it, what for? A few extra quid and a duvet? It’s all shit.”
