Helen is made Acting Governing Governor until a permanent replacement is found. This news is treated with disdain by Nikki who knows that Helen’s new role will limit the amount of time they get to spend together, and with horror by Fenner—he is uncomfortably aware that Helen has every reason to make life difficult for him and makes a point of threatening to report her for harassment if she so much as tries. Helen’s first job as Number One is to appoint a new SMO to replace Dr Nicholson. Dashing doc, Thomas Waugh, is the perfect choice.
Crystal is on hunger-strike in protest against the incorrect results of her drugs test. Charlotte is sure that Crystal is telling the truth and so exercises her right to pay for the two samples to be analysed by an independent laboratory. To Karen’s shock and Di’s panic, the new results exonerate Crystal. Helen questions Di about her part in the mix-up and is sympathetic when she blames the incident on the stress she’s under at home. Di receives a written reprimand and is warned to be more vigilant in the future.
Crystal, Charlotte, and Yvonne are all convinced that the mix-up with the urine tests may have been a deliberate act on Di’s part. Josh is deeply troubled when he hears that Di is aware of his secret relationship with Crystal—if this is the case, why is she still actively pursuing him? He confronts Di that night and tricks her into admitting that she swapped the samples on purpose. She pleads with him not to report her—if she loses her job, she will be forced to put her mother into a home. After Di promises to do everything she can to make it up to Crystal, Josh reluctantly agrees to keep quiet. When she arrives home, the last thing Di needs to hear is her mother calling for her. She finally cracks and, after pushing her mother out of her bed, begins laying into her with her fists.
Over lunch, Helen and Thomas discuss the changes that he wants to make to the way things are done at Larkhall. They discovered that they have a lot in common and share a similar outlook on the prison system. The amiable meeting is brought to an end with the appearance of Claire, Nikki’s solicitor. Nikki can’t quite believe it when she is summoned to Helen’s office and told that the Home Office have submitted her case to the Court of Appeal.
After a lot of thought, Crystal decides to forgive Josh for refusing to believe her innocence, but does make it clear that he’s on his last chance. In fact, Josh is so desperate to get back into Crystal’s favour that agrees to a hastily arranged secret wedding ceremony in the prison chapel with Barbara standing in as lay-preacher! There is a brief hitch when Di finds out about the clandestine arrangements, but thanks to the Julies’ quick thinking, she is locked in a store cupboard and unable to interfere. Despite Barbara’s jitters, the wedding goes off without a hitch, and when Di is finally freed from the cupboard, she finds the chapel empty but for Crystal’s bouquet.
Crystal and Josh consummate their marriage in the laundry cupboard. Later, they return to the wing to be greeted by the sight of a firework display outside—Yvonne’s wedding present to them. Meanwhile, Fenner drops Di off at home and is concerned when he hears Mrs Barker crying out. He bursts into the house and finds the poor old woman lying on the floor, begging for him to help her.
Memorable Moments
Stubberfield – “You’re just a pretty face to brighten up the board-table Helen, until they pick their man.”
Helen – “Oh Nikki, don’t you see what it means?”
Nikki – “Yeah sure, means you’re top of the shit-heap…fantastic! I’ll even have time for a group chat, when you can fit it in.”
Helen – “God, I can always rely on you for a hard time can’t I? Look, if it means anything, it means that I’ve got more chance of getting you out of here. And it sure as hell means count your days Jim Fenner.”
Gina – “You got your sexy undies on?”
Josh – “You what?”
Gina – “This hot date you’ve got with Di.”
Josh – “Date? You’re joking?”
Gina – “I think the joke might be on you lover. Keep your panic button handy, that’s all I can say.”
Yvonne – “I’ll tell you Mr Mitchell; something stinks around here and it ain’t just them piss-pots.”
Julie S – “Why not, you’re religious ain’t ya?”
Barbara – “Yes, but I’m not a vicar and I’m not pretending to marry Crystal, end of story!”
Julie J – “Well can’t you say you’re one of them…whatsit…lay preachers or summink?”
Barbara – “I’m not going to lie to her!”
Julie J – “That’s alright, we’ll do the lying, you just nod.”
Barbara – “It’s not legal!”
Julie S – “It’s not bothered you before; you’re a bleedin’ bigamist!”
