Mrs Barker is terrified when she wakes to find Di sitting at the end of her bed. Mrs Barker is now sporting a cut lip and protests at Di’s treatment of her; however, she is cowed when Di threatens to put her into a nursing home. Once at work, Di succumbs to tears and is discovered by a concerned Josh. He offers the lovelorn Di some friendly advice in the wake of Dominic’s departure: “find someone else”. Its advice Josh is going to live to regret, as Di embarks on a plan to persuade him to join the Prison Service. Pretty soon, the name ‘Dominic’ is being scraped off Di’s mirror and then replaced by the name ‘Josh’.
Barbara waits nervously for visiting time. Her late husband’s children, Greg and Amanda, are due to visit her for the first time and hopes that they’re planning to bury the hatchet, having finally come to terms with the fact that she wasn’t responsible for their father’s death. Unfortunately, Barbara couldn’t be any more wrong—Greg and Amanda have hired a private detective to poke around in her life and have discovered that there is no record of Barbara’s divorce from her first husband, Arthur. They are now convinced that Barbara is a cold-hearted, greedy gold-digger and plan to take their allegations to the police. Barbara is so offended that she smacks Greg across the face.
Yvonne has arranged for a visit from the male escort agency Nikki recommended. While Yvonne waits in a private room, Hollamby escorts her ‘solicitor’ from the gate. Later, a suspicious Hollamby returns to the visiting room to check that all is as it should be. Luckily, Yvonne is on the ball and, prepared for such a reaction, makes sure that Hollamby encounters nothing untoward. As soon as the coast is clear, client and customer get down to ‘business’.
Barbara is extremely upset and all of the inmates rally round. They decide to wage a campaign of intimidation against Greg and Amanda, hoping to grind them down with a series of anonymous phone calls and letters. Denny and Shaz get stuck in on the phone, unaware that Karen is listening in. They are both given additional days on their sentences, but it’s a price they’re willing to pay to help Barbara out. Poor Barbara is furious when she hears about the phone calls, but anger soon turns to fear when the police turn up to question her—they accuse her of bigamy and then inform her that they are going to reopen the investigation into Peter’s death.
Yvonne receives another “legal” visit and is shocked when she discovers that the man waiting to see her is actually a real solicitor—Charlie’s solicitor in fact! With the prospect of his trial looming, Charlie has decided to make his wife an offer—if she lies for him in court, he’ll set her up financially for life. Yvonne doesn’t trust Charlie an inch, but agrees to think about it. Having been given by Karen permission to act, Hollamby bursts in with the DST in tow. Yvonne and the solicitor, Ian Ravenscroft, are searched but nothing untoward is found. After proving his legitimacy, Ravenscroft complains about Hollamby and she summoned up to Karen’s office for yet another telling off.
Barbara admits to Nikki that she has been lying—she is a bigamist, but insists that she married Peter for the right reasons. Her first husband was a devout Catholic and refused to give her a divorce—what else could she do? Nikki and the other women are disgusted; especially after all they’ve done for her. Matters are made worse when Hollamby reveals that Barbara has inherited millions. Barbara is mortified, but just when she begins to despair; Nikki softens and suggests a way for her to get back into everybody’s good books. Just before lock-up, Barbara informs the women that she has given Monica Lindsey £500,000 to fund another halfway house. The inmates are delighted, with the obvious exception of Shell of course.
Memorable Moments
Nikki – “So why are you seeing them?”
Barbara – “Well I’m assuming they’ve got something to tell me.”
Nikki – “What, like piss off and die?”
Yvonne – “Did I tell you that I got a mate on D-Wing who told me that a screw had been transferred here because she’d just had a bust-up with her boyfriend? Is it true that you were moved against your will?”
Gina – “Is it true that you get on everyone’s tits? ‘Cause if it is, we got a problem.”
Hollamby – “Are they still in there?”
Gina – “Unless they’ve blown a wall out and got away by helicopter.”
Hollamby – “Well haven’t you been listening?”
Gina – “I’ve got this thing called a life thank you very much.”
Hollamby – “You know, I’m not convinced he’s a lawyer, he didn’t look devious enough.”
Yvonne – “I know some people who could pay these arseholes a visit if you like.”
Barbara – “They won’t listen to anyone.”
Yvonne – “These people don’t talk Barbara; they pull teeth out, things like that.”
Julie J – “Dear Miss Hunt…”
Julie S – “You are a…”
Hollamby – “If that bloke was a lawyer, I’m a jumbo-jet.”
Yvonne – “After what he’s done to me, I wouldn’t trust him any further than I could push him with my piss.”
Hollamby – “Do you think I was born yesterday?”
Yvonne – “Well if he does, he needs glasses.”
Karen – “Another triumph for your softly-softly approach.”
Hollamby – “Well you told me to keep an eye on her ma’am.”
Karen – “I didn’t tell you to put the jackboots on and strip-search the lawyer!”
