Hollamby learns that Phyl and Bev are to be transferred to an open prison and comes up with an idea for a little con-trick of her own. She tells them that she can arrange for them to serve out the rest of their sentence in “Her Majesty’s health farm” in exchange for them returning the £1000 they have conned her out of. Phyl and Bev have no desire to spend the next 5 years surrounded by green fields, fresh air, and the smell of the countryside, especially not now that they have a source of high-quality booze in the greenhouse, so they politely decline Hollamby’s offer. However, it seems that Neil has other ideas and the Costa Cons are soon seen tottering off to a waiting van having drunk a rather large one for the road.

Fenner also has a cunning plan up his sleeve and plants some drugs in her cell. He orders Colin to search Yvonne’s cell, confident that his nemesis will be spending the next few days down the block after the drugs are found. Colin does find the drugs, but flushes them down the toilet. Meanwhile, the women gather to present the wheelchair they’ve built for Lennox to the celebrity patron of ‘Kids on Wheels’—none other than Christopher Biggins. But the presence of the media gives them the perfect opportunity to make a very public protest about Larkhall’s forthcoming privatisation. And, after taking Christopher hostage; they barricade themselves into the greenhouse and refuse to leave unless Linford Securities withdraw their bid.

Bostock is furious at this turn of events and begins to jackboot about, ordering Neil to put on a display of muscle for the benefit of the press. Although terrified at first, Christopher realises that the women mean him no harm and begins to sympathise with their plight. The tension is eased even further by the discovery of Phyl and Bev’s still, but the laughter is soon cut short when Neil decides to pile on the pressure, telling the women that unless they abandon their protest, they will all lose their right to early release dates. Although they manage to persuade Buki to surrender, Yvonne and the Julies fail to convince Barbara to bow out. She’s even prepared to sacrifice early release and marriage to Henry for the cause.

Serial escapee Snowball has persuaded Neil to grant her a closed visit from Ritchie—but this time it’s a different sort of escape that the couple of planning. Although Colin is supposed to be keeping an eye on them, the couple manage to swallow copious amounts of pills. Eventually, Colin realises what is going on and is able to save Snowball. However, it’s much too late for Ritchie.

Christopher convinces the women to give up their protest—they’ve created a stink in front of the press and have successfully managed to get their point across. As the women are taken away, Christopher tells Bostock and Neil exactly what he thinks of them in front of the assembled press. The prospect of bad publicity is all too much for the board and investors of Linford Securities and they decide to withdraw their bid. Yvonne is given no time to reflect on her triumph when she sees the lifeless body of her son.

Neil can’t stand another minute of marriage to Di and announces that he wants a divorce—and if she wants to tell the world that he’s gay, he doesn’t care. But will he change his mind when Di makes an announcement of her own and reveals that she’s pregnant with his child?

Episode Factsheet
Do inmate protests really take place in prisons?
Find out in the fact sheet compiled by The Centre for Crime
and Justice Studies.

Episode 7 - Prison Protests