Fenner is released from prison and walks straight into Di’s waiting arms. After washing away the stench of jail, he finds Di waiting with a bottle of champagne, clearly avid for them to finally consummate their marriage and set about starting a family. Fenner is unable to perform, something he blames on the pressure he’s been under. Di is understanding and instead, turns her attention to his employment problems. Together they arrange to meet with Neil and threaten to make the verdict of the tribunal stand unless he gives Fenner the vacant Wing Governor’s job. Knowing that they have him over a barrel, Neil has no choice but to agree.
Although her cornea is badly scratched, Janine is relieved when she finds out that she will be able to see out of her damaged eye again. Meanwhile, Hollamby is still limping around the wing like Long John Silver and finally resorts to smuggling gin to Phyl and Bev in exchange for a method to life the curse. Jumping on the chance to make Hollamby’s life even more of a misery, Phyl and Bev instruct her to drink a glass of her own wee, four times a day!
Fenner’s hardly through the front gate when Di starts badgering him to give her the Principal Officer’s job. Fenner’s reluctant, unwilling to put Hollamby’s nose out of joint by promoting his wife above her head. The women are horrified when they find out the identity of their new Wing Governor. The Julies make it very clear that they think the whole thing stinks, but both end up singing a very different tune when Fenner strips them of their red-bands. Phyl and Bev jump at the chance to replace the Julies on the kitchen rota but are unprepared for the hard work. The Julies watch on in disgust as disaster follows disaster behind the servery, but are cheered when Neil gives them permission to open their very own hair and beauty salon on G-Wing.
Hollamby finally receives some good news in the form of a very official letter. Her gammy leg is soon forgotten when she discovers that her Aunt Margaret has died and left her a palatial, antique stuffed house in Hampstead in her will. As she and Hollamby look around the house in awe, Di sees a chance to worm her way into the Principal Officer’s job—surely now that Hollamby is a woman of means, it’s the ideal time for her to retire. Dr Nicholson also perks up when he hears the news about Hollamby’s inheritance and takes her out for a romantic meal.
Everyone on G-Wing is up in arms about Natalie’s protection racket. Enough is enough. They gather together and draw straws to decide who will grass on their tormentor. Janine is gutted when she picks the shortest straw, but hiding her terror behind her usual bravado, she goes to speak to Fenner. After hearing Janine’s complaints, Fenner pays Natalie a visit. He makes it very clear that there’s only one person running G-Wing…him. After doing a deal with Fenner, Natalie returns the other women’s possessions and informs Janine that she knows exactly who grassed on her. Natalie’s revenge comes in the form of a gift-wrapped present. Janine is horrified when she opens it to find a bloody eyeball staring back at her.
Once again, Di bursts into Fenner’s office without knocking and excitedly shows him the bag of sex-aids she has just bought. She’s determined to get Fenner in the mood for love! Unable to hold back any longer, Fenner lets rip and tells Di exactly what he really thinks about her. He doesn’t realise that she’s still got all of the evidence that could put him straight back behind bars.
Memorable Moments
Hollamby – “Tull…Beverley.”
Bev – “Hollamby…Bodybag.”
Fenner – “Should my ears be burning?”
Colin – “More than your ears Fenner.”
Tina – “He’s like a flippin’ boomerang, he just keeps coming back.”
Julie S – “Bit like you Teen?”
Julie J – “Fenner’s more like herpes, that keeps coming back n’all.”
Hollamby – “Quite a responsibility looking after all that family history, but I owe it to poor Margaret.”
Di – “Who, poor gay Margaret who you blanked when she was alive?”
Fenner – “You just don’t get it do you? It’s you that’s the problem, I don’t fancy you. In fact, you turn me right off.”
Di – “We’ve only been married for two minutes.”
Fenner – “Two minutes too long if you ask me. You’re doing my effing head in trying to run my life for me. I’d rather shag a dry-stone wall.”
Di – “No you wouldn’t, you’d rather shag Karen Betts. That’s it, isn’t it?”
Fenner – “Oh please!”
Di – “No, it’s true. I’ve seen those photos, it was a bloody shrine to her and you can’t get it up for anyone else!”
Fenner – “You are joking aren’t you?”
Di – “I don’t find perverts fun Jim, maybe you should still be on that seg unit, which in case you’d forgotten, that is exactly where you’d be right now if it wasn’t for me.”
Fenner – “Oh come on Di, so I lost my temper…”
