A to Z of HMP Larkhall
Zandra chose to have an abortion after discovering that she was pregnant by her ex-fiancé, Robin. However, as soon as she got to the hospital, she changed her mind and did a runner instead (s1ep4).
Di booked herself in for an abortion when tests revealed that the baby she was carrying had been fathered by Tony, Neil’s boyfriend, rather than Neil himself. After the abortion, she continued to pretend that she was pregnant for as long as it took to secure the Wing Governor’s job, and then suffered a ‘miscarriage’ (s3ep15).
After an inmate breaks a rule, they take part in a formal hearing with a governor grade officer in which their punishment is decided.
Yvonne planned to cement her relationship with Denny by legally adopting her, but the plan came to naught when Internet research revealed that at twenty-one, Denny was too old to be adopted. They decided on an informal arrangement instead (s5ep4).
Celebrity Christopher Biggins was horrified when he was told that Buki wasn’t allowed contact with her son, Lennox. He later adopted Lennox and then asked Buki to come and live with them both after her release (s5ep14).
Horrified when Di started planning for them to have a family, Fenner decided to take drastic measures and booked himself in for a vasectomy (s7ep4). Di was distraught when Fenner revealed that he was sterile, but quickly shrugged off her disappointment and set about making an appointment with an adoption agency. Of course, it didn’t take that much effort on Fenner’s behalf to muck up the interview (s7ep7).
An affidavit is a sworn statement of fact, written down, signed and witnessed by a taker of oaths. Karen insisted that Colin swear to the fact that he and Fenner lied to get Shell shipped out of Larkhall in an affidavit (s5ep9).
The security area between Larkhall’s two sets of front gates. When entering the airlock, all staff and visitors must sign in (or out) with the security staff and may be subject to a search.
Larkhall’s airlock was renovated at the beginning of Series 4 in order to introduce the new exterior set – a prison exterior purpose built for Bad Girls. During the renovation, Larkhall’s POs were instructed to park their cars in the prison yard. Unfortunately for Yvonne, this meant that Karen and Fenner were on hand to stop her going over the wall (s4ep1-ep2)
Al Jahani, Emira
Emira was banged up on G-Wing for allegedly withholding information on her husband’s – suspected terrorist Hassan Al Jahani – whereabouts. The women on G-Wing were immediately wary of Emira and, after the deaths of Neil and inmate Ashlee Wilcox, wrongly believed that she was attempting to poison everyone with ricin (s8ep1). Emira was later persuaded to lead the police to her husband. Once he was in custody, she was allowed to go free (s8ep3).
Al Jahani, Hassan
Suspected Islamic terrorist who went into hiding after police raided his flat and arrested his wife, Emira (s8ep1). Emira was sent to Larkhall and questioned by the police. Convinced of Hassan’s innocence, she remained tight-lipped about his whereabouts until the police found traces of explosives in their flat (s8ep3).
A prostitute who was sent to Larkhall for persistently refusing to pay her fines, but in actual fact was a police detective who had been sent undercover to entrap Natalie. The officer – Detective Inspector Frances Myers – went on to become Wing Governor (s6ep1).
‘All Things Bright and Beautiful’
Mad Tessa Spall’s favourite hymn. She forced Shell to sing it with her several times when they shared a cell on the Muppet Wing (s3ep2).
Crystal, Denny and Shaz rewrote the words to the hymn as a protest against the poor conditions on G-Wing for the benefit of some visiting Prison Inspectors (s4ep12):
Cockroaches in the bathroom and shit upon the walls,
‘cause God hates all us sinners and puts us in Larkhall.
Disgusted by the black humour evident in the night calls after Rachel’s suicide, Crystal flung open her cell window and let rip with a soulful rendition of ‘Amazing Grace’. The hymn was also used to play out the credits at the end of the episode (s1ep4).
A swanky five-star hotel in Marbella where Phyl and Bev decided to lie low after their escape from Larkhall. Unbeknownst to them, newlyweds Sylvia and Malcolm Nicholson were honeymooning in the neighbouring suite (s7ep9).
When Fenner, Colin and a group of their PO colleagues headed off on a lad’s weekend in Amsterdam, the last thing they expected was to run into Shell in a strip club. As a result of this encounter, Shell was captured by the police and then extradited back to the UK (s5ep1).
Or in the case of Renee Williams, death by peanut! Anaphylactic shock – or anaphylaxis – is an extreme allergic reaction that in her case proved fatal (s2ep11).
A little girl who was used by a criminal gang to smuggle drugs into several prisons. Natalie proved that her evil really did know no bounds when she arranged for Vanessa to crutch drugs into Larkhall during a visit (s8ep5).
The name of Angela Robbins’ aggressive and foul-mouthed second personality. ‘Andy’ physically attacked Pat and Lou before Angela was transferred out of Larkhall to a secure psychiatric hospital (s8ep3). See Robbins, Angela.
Magazine subscribed to and read by Fenner. He brought a copy of the magazine onto G-Wing for a bit of break-time reading, but neglected to take it out of the envelope it had been delivered in. The envelope, labelled with his home address, was pocketed by Dawn and then smuggled to Shell (s1ep10). She used the address to send anonymous letters to Marilyn Fenner (s2ep1).
Julie J – “Dear Miss Hunt...”
Julie S – “You are a...”
Inspired by Cassie and Roisin’s daring attempt to rescue Neil after the Larkhall bomb, Al and Tina came up with a plan of the cunning variety in an attempt to win their own pardon. However, in order to save a PO’s life, they first had to place one in mortal peril. They chose Di as their target and sent her a series of letters in which they threatened to impale her on a “sharp stick” (s5ep1). Di quickly rumbled their plot and then went on to co-opt the idea, sending anonymous poison pen letters to herself and to Neil (s5ep5).
Anonymous notes have also been used to tip G-Wing’s POs off to various wrong-doings. Shell forced Rachel to pen a letter to the DST that named Nikki as a drug dealer (s1ep2). Notes were slipped under the door of the PO’s Office to draw attention to the cannabis Crystal was drying out in the servery oven (s2ep8), and also to suggest Tanya’s hamper as the source of the oxalic acid that poisoned the wing (s6ep7).
Crystal went through a severe crisis of faith after the death of tragic tot Baxter Harding (s4ep10). Overnight, G-Wing’s Mother Teresa turned Devil’s advocate and decided to start anti-bible classes. The class discussed the improbability of events like the feeding of the five thousand, something Tina thought so unbelievable “even Buki couldn’t have thought that one up” (s4ep14).
If a prisoner believes that their conviction is unjust, or if new evidence is brought to light that could threaten the safety of that conviction, they are permitted to make a request for an appeal. The only G-Wing inmates to have been released after a successful appeal are Monica (s1ep10) and Nikki (s3ep16).
The department of the Prison Service with the ultimate authority over the running of HMP Larkhall. Amongst other things, Area Management is responsible for the hiring and firing of Governing Governors and the investigation of major incidents within the prison.
The crime of setting a fire with the intent to cause damage. Denny was convicted of arson and sentenced to seven years after she burnt down her children’s home. Arson also became one of the vast array of crimes committed by Shell when she deliberately set fire to Nikki’s cell (s3ep7). Tina is also an arsonist – unable to cope with life on the outside, she set fire to a clothes shop, succeeding in her bid to get sent back to Larkhall (s7ep1).
Julie J tried to get pregnant with the aid of a yoghurt pot, a syringe and a pervy Babes Behind Bars punter called John. In true Julie style, she dropped the yoghurt pot whilst giving John a handjob under a table in the visiting room. He quickly cottoned on to what she was doing and the plan failed (s2ep10). See Babes Behind Bars, John.
Di bribed Neil’s boyfriend, Tony, to collect Neil’s sperm for her in a condom during her attempt to get pregnant (s5ep6). After a couple of sessions with a turkey baster, Di successfully impregnated herself and then managed to con Neil into believing that it was the end result of a night of drunken passion (s5ep7). It later transpired that the baby was actually fathered by Tony. He had – rather disgustingly – mixed his sperm with Neil’s in the mistaken belief that the baby would be fathered by both of them (s5ep10).
When Janine discovered that she was pregnant with Donny’s baby, she claimed that her fictitious boyfriend Michael had left a jam jar containing his sperm by her mother’s grave, and that she had inseminated herself during her outside visit (s8ep9). Unsurprisingly, Joy didn’t believe a word of it. See Dyer, Michael.
Just across the corridor from the library, this secluded room has become the scene of many a secret tryst. It was used by Helen and Nikki when they needed somewhere private and out of the way to talk (s2ep7), and then by Yvonne and her cronies as a base of operations for Babes Behind Bars (s2ep8). It was also the scene of Shaz’s tragic and untimely death (s4ep16).
A period of time in which the inmates may integrate for recreation.
Smuggled in to Tanya by yardie gangster Rick Revoir and then passed on to Darlene at his request. This particular inhaler contained a toe belonging to Darlene’s brother Terence (s6ep6).
Yvonne’s gangster husband, now deceased. He had an affair with the wife of his main rival – Renee Williams – and together they conspired to get Yvonne sent down. After Renee’s death, Charlie dumped Yvonne and told her that he never wanted to see her again (s2ep13). He was shot on the steps of the Crown Court by a hit-man hired by his daughter Lauren (s3ep6).
Yvonne and Charlie’s daughter – a real chip off the old block! She ran the Atkins family business after her father’s arrest and then later arranged his death to gain payback for Yvonne (s3ep6). She eventually fell foul of the law and ended up behind bars (s6ep3).
Yvonne and Charlie’s son, now deceased. He left the country after a row with his father and then returned in order to help his girlfriend, Snowball, to break out of Larkhall (s4ep12). After a second unsuccessful escape attempt left him paralysed from the waist down, he entered into a suicide pact with Snowball and overdosed on pills (s5ep7).
Everyone’s favourite gangster’s moll, Yvonne holds the record for the longest stint as G-Wing’s top-dog – s1ep10 to s5ep16. During her reign, she made a great many enemies, including Fenner. After sussing out Yvonne’s plan to escape through the old hanging cell, he followed her and locked her in (s5ep16). Her body was discovered six weeks later (s6ep1).