A to Z of HMP Larkhall
B
Babes Behind Bars
The name of the telephone sex-line masterminded by Yvonne (s2ep8). The Julies, Denny, Shell and Yvonne herself provided the service to pervy punters.
Baby Screw
The nickname given to a NEPO (New Entrant PO).
Bada, Femi
A Nigerian drugs mule who was sentenced to seven years. The poor treatment Femi suffered at the hands of G-Wing’s POs caused the inmates to stage a sit-down protest that escalated into a riot (s3ep11-ep12).
Bail
Traditionally, bail is some form of property deposited or pledged to a court in order to persuade it to release a suspect from prison, on the understanding that the suspect will return for trial or forfeit the bail (and be guilty of the crime of failure to appear). In most cases bail money will be returned at the end of the trial, if all court appearances are made, no matter whether the person is found guilty or not guilty of the crime accused.
Under current law, a defendant has the right to bail unless there is sufficient reason not to grant it, such as: concern the defendant, a) will abscond, b) will commit further offences, or c) will interfere with witnesses. Conditions may be applied to the grant of bail, such as living at a particular address, or – as above – paying an amount into court. The alternative to being granted bail is being remanded in custody.
When Di was charged with Fenner’s murder, her bail was set at £50,000. She was unable to raise such a large sum of money and therefore was remanded into custody (s7ep12).
Ball Gown
Worn by Hollamby at her 30th wedding anniversary party, this particular item of couture was a fetching combination of electric blue and shocking pink and made the old Bodybag look like a deformed fairy (s2ep13).
Ballroom Dancing
It just goes to show that appearances can be deceptive. You’d never guess by the way Hollamby lumbers around G-Wing like a wounded hippopotamus that she’s actually a champion ballroom dancer. Viewers have twice been treated to the sight of her taking the floor, once with her late husband, Bobby (s2ep13), and then again with her second husband – Dr Nicholson – at their wedding reception (s7ep6).
Barker, Di
G-Wing PO also known as ‘Di Barking’ because she’s a couple of cans short of a six-pack. To date, she has stalked Dominic, Josh, Mark, Neil and Colin, sometimes going as far as building macabre shrines to them in her bedroom. Love is definitely blind when you’re desperate, something Fenner used to his advantage when he manipulated Di into a train wreck of a marriage. In fact, the union was such a disaster that Di was wrongly charged with her husband’s murder and ended up on the wrong side of the G-Wing bars (s7ep12).
Read Di’s character profile.
Barker, Dorothy
Di’s elderly and infirm mother. The pressures of caring for her mother caused Di to experience a nervous breakdown. Dorothy experienced a prolonged period of physical abuse at her daughter’s hands before she was placed in a nursing home (s3ep10).
Barkwith, HMP
Phyl and Bev were transferred to this cushy open prison as a reward for building a motorised wheelchair for Buki’s son Lennox (s5ep7).
Basic
Under the Incentives and Earned Privileges Scheme, there are different levels of inmate privileges. On G-Wing, the basic regime covers the cells on the ground floor (aka G1) which have more primitive facilities and are usually shared.
Bath
Virginia came to a sticky end in the bath-tub when Al and Maxi drowned her (s3ep16).
Belly Dancing
Di donned her seven veils and tried to tickle Neil’s fancy with a belly dance (s4ep10). It was a complete flop of course; Di had yet to discover that Neil was gay and only sleeping with her to allay rumours about his sexuality.
Benzos
Slang term for Benzodiazepines, a type of tranquilliser. See Tranquillisers.
Betts, Karen
G-Wing’s longest serving Governor – s2ep3 to s4ep2 and s4ep12 – s5ep13. She was originally brought into Larkhall as Simon’s protégé (s2ep1) and was made Wing Governor after Helen’s resignation (s2ep2). Karen was finally dragged off her wing kicking and screaming by police officers who had come to arrest her for causing death by dangerous driving, a crime Fenner had committed in order to frame her (s5ep13). Karen made a brief return in order to prove her innocence and Fenner’s guilt (s6ep12).
Read Karen’s character profile.
Betts, Ross
Karen’s son. Although he’s never appeared onscreen, we know that he dropped out of his University course (s5ep3) and causes his mother no end of headaches.
Bigamy
Bigamy is marriage to two people at the same time. The UK has specific statutes outlawing bigamy, making any secondary marriage a crime. Barbara became a bigamist when she married her second husband – Peter Hunt – without divorcing her first husband – Arthur Roper.
Biggins, Christopher
Cuddly celeb who came to Larkhall to collect Lennox Lester’s motorised wheelchair on behalf of the charity Kids on Wheels. He was taken hostage by G-Wing’s inmates during their protest against privatisation and against all odds, became their ally, going on to badmouth the prison authorities to the press (s5ep7).
Christopher was particular touched by Buki’s story and decided to adopt Lennox. Later, he asked Buki to come and live with them both after her release (s5ep14).
Biggs, Noreen
Larkhall old-timer who became a great mate of Tina’s after they ran the servery together for a brief but memorable period in Series 4. Noreen was later returned to Larkhall, this time suffering from a terminal illness. Appalled when she discovered that Tina was Fenner’s new ‘favourite’, Noreen decided to confront him and as a result, collapsed and then died (s5ep12).
Bipolar Disorder
Also known as manic depression, bipolar disorder is a treatable illness marked by extreme changes in mood, thought, energy, and behaviour. Julie J was diagnosed as suffering from bipolar disorder after a series of violent episodes led to her transfer to a secure mental hospital (s7ep12). Julie was successfully treated and then returned to Larkhall but by then, had secretly stopped taking her tablets because they were making her put on weight. Tortured by visions of Fenner’s ghost stalking the corridor, she ended up stabbing herself in the stomach (s7ep13).
Biscuits
Di baked a batch of keyhole-shaped biscuits and sent them to G-Wing to thank her fellow POs for being so supportive of Fenner during his mental breakdown. Hollamby stuck the biscuits inside Tanya’s luxury hamper as a quid pro quo for the goodies she had already ‘confiscated’. Al and Darlene weren’t very impressed by the biscuits - “they taste like thistles” - but scoffed them anyway (s6ep6).
Bissett, Chris
The soundman from fly-on-the-wall documentary makers, Kickin’ Productions. He was convicted of aiding and abetting Shell and Denny’s escape after Fenner planted one of his business cards in Shell’s cell (s3ep7).
Blakeson, Ken
The dopey gate guard who fell for Nikki’s Nurse Ford disguise and signed her out of the prison (s2ep13). He was also the first to give chase when Shell was spotted in Amsterdam (s5ep1) and narrowly avoided being squished by a car when Julie S tried to break back into the prison (s3ep3). Ken was also involved in a punch-up with Barry Pearce that resulted in the temporary closure of the Officer’s Club (s4ep2).
Block
Being sent “down the block” is a standard punishment. It means being confined to a bare cell in solitary. Whilst on the block, inmates will have their privileges withdrawn and will be denied association.
Blonde Wig
Hairpiece from hell that was worn by Nikki as part of her Nurse Ford disguise (s2ep13 – s3ep1) and that, in her words, made her look like “Dusty Springfield’s ugly sister”. A different but equally as vile blonde wig was worn by Fenner to disguise himself as Karen before stealing her car and then using it to knock over a pedestrian (s5ep13).
Fenner’s wig reappeared when it was used to frame Ben Phillips/Hennessey for the crime Karen, and then later Fenner himself had been charged with. Desperate to get out of prison, Fenner persuaded Di to purchase a new wig and cover it with DNA from Ben’s hairbrush (stolen by Fenner). The wig and the hairbrush were then planted in Ben’s van and then later discovered by the police (s7ep1).
Blood
From the very first episode of Series 1 when Carol Byatt miscarried in her cell, buckets of the stuff have been spilt on G-Wing. Notably – and most disgustingly – when Shell stabbed Fenner in the stomach with a broken bottle (s3ep1), when Shaz pierced Denny’s tongue with a nail (s3ep5) and Fenner’s long-awaited swan song in the hanging cell (s7ep10).
Blood, Denny
A convicted arsonist and all-round troubled kid who served as Shell’s vicious side-kick until the arrival of Yvonne, and later Shaz, saw her being to develop more self-respect. After a brief spell on the run in Spain with Shell (s3ep7-ep16), Denny was returned to G-Wing where she remained until she became an artistic prodigy and received a transfer to an open prison (s5ep16).
Read Denny’s character profile.
Blood Poisoning
Life-threatening condition suffered by Denny when Shaz’s attempt to pierce her tongue with a nail didn’t quite go to plan (s3ep5).
Blood Tests
Every inmate on G-Wing was given a blood test after their breakfast pancakes were accidently spiked with oxalic acid (s6ep7-ep8). Frances was also tested when she too fell ill after her coffee was spiked.
Rowan did a number of blood tests when the inmates began collapsing on G-Wing. Ricin poisoning was initially suspected, but it later transpired that an outbreak of Legionnaire’s disease was to blame (s8ep1). See Legionnaire’s Disease.
Bomb
Put together by Snowball using ingredients that were smuggling in to Larkhall via the Inter Library Loan Scheme by Ritchie Atkins (s4ep15). The bomb was hidden inside a book and planted in the library where it exploded during the prison’s Open Day (s4ep16).
Bodybag
The inmates’ nickname for Hollamby. It has never been explained why, but the fact that her late husband – Bobby – was an undertaker might have something to do with it.
‘Born to Run’
One of Bruce Springsteen’s most famous songs, and also Yvonne’s favourite song of all time. It was played at the memorial service that was held in the prison chapel on the first anniversary of her death (s7ep10).
Bostock, Eric
Chief Executive of Linford Securities, the private security firm who were awarded the contract to privatise Larkhall (s5ep5). After a period of jack-booting about, installing CCTV cameras, sacking POs, cutting costs and generally getting on everyone’s nerves, he finally met his Waterloo when G-Wing’s inmates took Christopher Biggins hostage (s5ep7).
Brain Tumour
The cause of Zandra’s untimely death (s2ep9).
Braised Meatballs
As in “my Bobby’s doing his braised meatballs tonight”. Bobby Hollamby’s signature dish never failed to get Sylvia “salivering”.
Breast Cancer
Worldwide, breast cancer is the most common form of cancer in women, affecting – at some time in their lives – approximately one out of nine to one out of thirteen women who reach the age of ninety in the Western world. Julie S suffered from a malignant breast tumour and was sent to the hospital for a mastectomy – removal of the affected breast (s5ep9). Thankfully, her treatment was successful and she is now in remission.
Breast Grabbing
Well, involuntary breast grabbing if we’re going to get pedantic. Helen ended up feeling a right... er, no... actually it was a left tit when Nikki grabbed her hand and held it against said part of her anatomy during an encounter in the potting-shed (s1ep7).
Brendan
Sheena’s ex-boyfriend and the father of her son, Dylan. He visited Sheena shortly after her release on electronic tag and stashed a bag of heroin in the house. He was observed by Collette – the homeowner – and she called the police. Sheena was arrested and sent back to Larkhall (s7ep12).
Broken Bottle
The weapon used by Nikki to kill DC Gossard (see Gossard, Detective Constable), the man who was trying to rape her then girlfriend Trisha. Also the weapon used by Shell to give Fenner a near fatal “poke in the pudding” (s3ep1).
Brothel
Establishments specifically dedicated to prostitution. In some countries, licensed brothels are legal, but not in the UK. Virginia owned a string of brothels that were looked after by John Farmer, aka Jim Fenner while she was banged up in Larkhall until her death (s3ep16).
Building Society
Scene of an ‘armed’ robbery staged by Tina with a replica gun she’d stolen from Mandy. All Tina wanted was to be arrested and then sent back to Larkhall, but her act was convincing enough to scare one of the customers into a fatal heart attack and get her sent down for manslaughter (s8ep7).
Bunk of Doom
Seemingly cursed bunk in the four-bed dorm that at one stage or another, has been inhabited by the following dead inmates: Rachel, Zandra, Renee Williams, Shaz and Al. Another inhabitant – Charlotte Myddleton – was lucky to escape with her life when she was discovered trying to suffocate herself with a plastic bag (s3ep9).
Bus Ticket
Rather stupidly kept by Nikki as a souvenir of her night of pash with Helen (s2ep13). The ticket was later found by Di during a cell-spin and then utilised by Fenner as one of several pieces of evidence to force Helen’s resignation (s3ep15).
Buxton, Natalie
After being convicted of trafficking illegal immigrants for use in the sex trade, Natalie’s life should have been a living nightmare when she was sent down. However, she was clever enough to manipulate most of G-Wing’s inmates into believing her lies and soon had them all toeing the line. Self-proclaimed top-dog thanks to her psychotic ability to scare the living shit out of everyone until she received a dose of her own medicine from Pat (s7ep7). Now mouldering somewhere in the sewers underneath Larkhall.
Read Natalie’s character profile.
Byatt, Carol
Inmate who was left to miscarry and nearly bleed to death in her cell by a negligent Hollamby (s1ep1). Simon took the decision to transfer her out of Larkhall rather than risk her suing the Prison Service.