A to Z of HMP Larkhall
L
Labour
Zandra, Crystal and Janine all went into labour in the four-bed dorm. Although Zandra made it to hospital in time for the delivery of her son (s2ep1), Crystal and Janine weren’t so fortunate. Crystal gave birth to her baby – a daughter called Zandra – on the floor of the dorm, but at least she had Karen – an ex-nurse with midwifery experience – on hand to help out (s4ep9).
Janine was on lockdown with Phyl, Bev and Tina when she went into premature labour. Because Hollamby was too lazy to answer the cell alarm, Bev had to step in to deliver the baby. Her namesake, Beverley Janine, was rushed straight into special care and only just survived (s8ep11). Shell went into labour in the laundry room with only a panicky Fenner in attendance. She was rushed to the MBU where she gave birth to her son without any complications (s5ep4).
Lady Lags
Fly-on-the-wall documentary filmed by independent TV company Kickin’ Productions. Their film crew caused havoc on G-Wing and gave Fenner an idea for how to get rid of Shell for good (s3ep7).
Larkhall Gospel Tabernacle Choir
Formed by Yvonne as a way of forcing the screws to sign her petition against closed visits. The sound of twelve inmates strumming guitars and singing ‘Kumbaya’ out of tune quickly drove everyone – especially Hollamby – mad and before long, every PO on G-Wing was lining up to sign the petition (s1ep10).
Laundry Room
Where the inmates do their washing. It was transformed into a romantic setting by the Julies, Yvonne and Zandra in preparation for Crystal’s candle-lit first date with Josh (s2ep4). Yvonne beat Al up in spectacular style in the laundry room (s3ep11) and was later nearly strangled to death on virtually the same spot by a belt wielding Maxi (s4ep9). The laundry room was also the scene of a spectacular Kris eruption in response to an attempt at seduction by Natalie (s6ep10).
Shell also used the laundry room as base of operations for her PO hand-job service during a short-lived business partnership with Fenner. Only he was on hand when she went into labour suddenly and had to be rushed to the MBU (s5ep4).
The laundry room became one of the many locations Pat and the Julies used to conceal Natalie’s body. They stored it temporarily inside a tumble drier until Pat stumbled across a disused manhole cover behind a washing machine. Natalie’s decomposing corpse was eventually dropped down it and sent to a watery grave in the sewer system (s8ep8).
Legionnaire’s Disease
A form of pneumonia that is most often contracted by inhaling mist from water sources such as bath, showers and air conditioners that are contaminated with Legionella bacteria. Although ricin poisoning was originally suspected to be the casue of the epidemic that killed Neil and Ashlee Wilcox and left many more fighting for their lives, the source of the bacterium was eventually tracked to contaminated water in Larkhall’s air conditioning system (s8ep1).
Lennox
Buki’s son, abandoned at birth and left for dead in a Kings Cross toilet cubicle. Buki later discovered that Lennox had survived and was living in a London children’s home under a different name – Winston (s4ep11). Cassie later decided to help Buki by trying to locate Lennox on the Internet. Buki was devastated at the news that he was born with a congenital condition called CMT that had left him confined to a wheelchair (s4ep15). Lennox was later adopted by celebrity Christopher Biggins who invited Buki to come and live with them both after her release (s5ep14).
Lester, Buki
When Buki arrived on G-Wing, she was a selfish crack-addict who would sell her own mother down the river for a rock. She was a compulsive liar who wouldn’t think twice about grassing on her fellow inmates. Since discovering that the child she had abandoned for dead was still alive, Buki drastically reassessed her priorities. She was released after completing her sentence and went to live with celebrity Christopher Biggins who had adopted her son Lennox (s5ep14).
Read Buki’s character profile.
Lewis, Caroline
This attractive and confident inmate appeared seemingly out of nowhere during the G-Wing riot (s3ep11). After putting Maxi and the rest of the PBG in their place, she caught Nikki on the rebound from Helen and looked set to become someone to reckon with. Then Maxi discovered that Caroline was doing time for publishing pornographic images of children on the Internet – she was last seen being locked into a cell for her own protection (s3ep12).
Library
The library was the haunt of G-Wing’s resident bookworm, Nikki. After her release, it became the scene of the worst tragedy ever to befall Larkhall – Snowball’s bomb (s4ep16).
Fenner gave Natalie a job in the library so that she could see to his ‘personal needs’. She also used it for her own needs, namely, as somewhere private to beat Arun up (s7ep3). The library was also used by DI Hayes and DS Hook to interview inmates and screws after Fenner’s murder (s7ep11).
Lilley, Oliver
Post art gallery owner and an old crony of Phyl and Bev’s. He exhibited Denny’s paintings on the website belonging to his gallery and turned her into an overnight artistic prodigy (s5ep15). Oliver also provided Phyl and Bev with passports and cash so that they could flee to Spain after their escape (s7ep9). After their capture he sent them a booze-laden Christmas hamper (s7ep13).
Lindsey, Monica
Aka “posh bitch”, Monica was a middle-aged and middle-class inmate whose no-nonsense attitude quickly won her the respect and friendship of her fellow inmates. Eventually released after successfully appealing against her conviction (s1ep10), Monica went on to open a halfway house and briefly reappeared in order to provide Julie S with a bed when she was released on an electronic tag (s3ep3).
Read Monica’s character profile.
Lindsey, Spencer
Monica’s son. He had Downs Syndrome and died when she was in Larkhall (s1ep8).
Linford Securities
The private security firm who were poised to privatise Larkhall until Yvonne masterminded a protest that included taking celeb Christopher Biggins hostage (s5ep7).
Linen Cupboard
Where Josh and Crystal consummated their ‘marriage’ and where their daughter Zandra was conceived (s3ep10).
Lockdown
In the event of a serious incident on the wing, all inmates are placed on lockdown and confined to their cells until the Wing Governor deems it safe to release them. Inmates have also been placed on lockdown due to a shortage of POs on the wing, most notably when Hollamby persuaded everyone who worked on G-Wing to call in sick (s3ep3).
Locker Room
This is where the POs keep their personal belongings while they’re working. It was the scene of the punch-up between Di and Gina that ultimately led to Gina’s miscarriage (s3ep14). The Julies barricaded themselves in to the locker room as they searched through Fenner’s belongings at Yvonne’s instigation. Although they didn’t find anything to prove that he was involved in Virginia’s death, they did find a porn mag and a pair of Maxi’s lacy knickers (s4ep1).
Locks, Bolts and Bars
Security procedure followed by the POs in which every lock, bolt and set of bars on the wing is checked.
Longley, Jude
Scumbag of a tabloid journalist who duped Gina into dishing the dirt on Charlotte Myddleton. As a result of this information she went on to bribe Buki into taking photographs of Charlotte zonked out on drugs (s3ep9).
Lugasiak, Iga
A young Polish woman who was duped into accepting a job in London and then forced into prostitution. Kevin conspired with Pat to arrange a meeting between Iga and Natalie. Unaware that the meeting was being recorded, Natalie told Iga exactly what she thought about women like her. Later, Pat played the tape for the benefit of the whole wing (s7ep12).
Lucky Bags
One of the many ways Hollamby came up with to fleece the inmates when Neil asked her to take over the running of the new privatised prison canteen. Hollamby’s (not so) lucky bags cost 50p and contained a couple of chocolate biscuits and a handful of toffees. They caused ructions as soon as the women who had purchased them realised that they’d been ripped off (s4ep2).
Lucky Heather
Di grew it in her back garden. She presented Josh with a sprig to bring him luck for the PO’s entrance exam (s3ep5). Her then husband, Fenner, was also seen clutching a sprig when he was released from prison (s7ep1).
Lunchbox
Josh’s day-glo yellow lunchbox, used to smuggle four mobile phones to Yvonne when she was setting up the Babes Behind Bars telephone sex-line (s2ep8).