A to Z of HMP Larkhall

Z

Zandra’s Goodbye Letter
Written by Zandra when she found out that she was dying from an inoperable brain tumour and read out by Crystal at her memorial service (s2ep9):

The good thing about knowing you're gonna die is that you get to say stuff that you wouldn't get away with if you were still alive. I can just picture you all sitting there - my mates, and all the screws. Old Bodybag, and Mr Fenner eyeing up all the women when he thinks the Guv's not looking.

I want to say thanks to all my special mates for sticking by me. Denny, who ain't the brightest person in the world, but who always made me laugh. The two Julies, for being like a mum to me. Mr McAllister, I'm sure he won't mind me calling him Dominic, who stuck by me and got me off the smack. But most of all, Crystal, my best friend. She helped me not to be afraid of dying. Love you Crystal.

I done a lot of bad things in my life that I ain't proud of, the best thing I ever did was have my baby, Robbie, but I even messed that up in the end. I'd like to hold him one last time, tell him how sorry I am and how much I love him, but I can't. I hope one day one of my mates can tell him instead.

PS I want you to sing ‘Kumbayah’ when you finish this. Not because I like it, but I remember how it used to drive old Bodybag mad when you sang it all the time.

Zulu
Hollamby’s radio call sign from Series 2 onwards, until Series 8 when it became ‘Golf 1’. In Series 1, her call sign was ‘Tango’.