H

H-Wing
Another of Larkhall’s wings. Di was originally a H-Wing PO.

Hackney
An inner-city borough in East London where Jessie Devlin lived in a hostel.

Hairbrush
‘Mad’ Tessa Spall used a hairbrush to great effect as an instrument of torture when she and Shell shared a cell on the Muppet Wing. Shell was too terrified to do anything but try her best not to flinch as Tessa subjected her to one hundred strokes (s3ep2).

Hair Oil
Used by Crystal and stolen by Renee Williams. As far as Crystal was concerned, justice was done when Renee later keeled over and died of anaphylactic shock—“she didn’t deserve to live; she stole my hair oil” (s2ep11).

Halfway House
A type of boarding house used to provide short-term accommodation for homeless inmates upon their release from prison. Monica opened a halfway house after she was released on appeal and provided accommodation to Julie S when she was released on electronic tag (s3ep3). Barbara later provided Monica with the funds to buy another house (s3ep4).

Hamad, Ishrat
Janan Hamad’s mother-in-law. After hearing of Janan’s rooftop protest at Larkhall, she came forward and pledged to support her claims of innocence (s6ep4).

Hamad, Janan
Softly spoken Muslim woman who was sent to Larkhall after being convicted of the murder of her husband’s uncle. Although the crime was committed in self-defence, Janan’s husband and his relatives lied in court and testified to the fact that she killed the victim in cold blood. Determined to prove her innocence, whatever the cost, Janan climbed onto the prison roof where she was later joined by Darlene, Tina, and the Julies. The media storm that followed convinced Janan’s mother-in-law, Ishrat, to come forward to support her story. Janan was later released on bail in preparation for her appeal (s6ep4).

Hamilton, Detective Sergeant
The police detective who investigated Barbara after her stepchildren, Greg and Amanda, accused her of marrying their father bigamously for his money, and then murdering him (s3ep4).

Hamper
A hamper containing luxury food was sent to Larkhall for Tanya and allowed onto G-Wing by media-phobic Neil. Hollamby confiscated the pick of the hamper’s contents and then delivered it to the dorm where Al and Darlene gleefully fell on it like a pair of hyenas (s6ep6). The hamper was though to be the source of the oxalic acid that poisoned the whole wing, and killed Al. Tanya was the police’s prime suspect until the discovery of the rhubarb wine in the servery cleared her (s6ep8).

Phyl and Bev received a Christmas hamper containing fresh fruit from Oliver, their man on the outside. All of the festive satsumas had been hollowed out and filled with alcohol (s7ep13).

Hampstead
A suburban development in North West London where Hollamby’s gay old Aunt Margaret lived until her death. She left the antique stuffed house to her undeserving, homophobic old boot of a niece in her will (s7ep2).

Handcuffs
Shell and Denny discovered a pair of handcuffs stashed away in the Hollamby’s bedroom (s3ep8). Frances used a pair to tie Colin down to her bed for a spot of nocturnal naughtiness (s6ep5). Selena handcuffed herself to Kris during her protest on top of the Wellington Arch (s6ep12).

Colin tried to handcuff himself to Laura Canning when she was taken out of Larkhall to lead the police to her sister, Emily. However, she panicked and refused to leave the prison unless the handcuffs were left off. Colin’s decision not to force the issue led to tragedy when he was then unable to stop Laura throwing herself off a balcony (s7ep4).

If Natalie thought her escort, Kevin, was going to be a soft-touch during her outside visit, she was sorely mistaken. He even kept her shackled to him when they were having sex. Afterwards, she managed to talk him into removing the cuffs so that she could visit the bathroom, but even when she emerged with a can of mace, sprayed him in the face, and then cuffed him to the furniture, Kevin proved to be more than a match for her—he had a spare key taped to his leg (s7ep12).

Hand-job
Service provided by the Julies to Shell’s “Mr Fix-it” in exchange for flea-powder for their cat, Tinker (s3ep6).

Hanging Cell
When capital punishment was abolished in the UK, Larkhall’s hanging cell was more or less forgotten… that was until Kris discovered a set of plans that dated back to Victorian times. Kris planned to make her escape through the hanging cell and the metal grate that covered the forgotten entrance but, thanks to a Fenner induced injury, she was forced to postpone her attempt. After Kris clued her up to the plan, Yvonne decided to make a break for it after Barbara’s wedding. Unfortunately, Fenner sussed the plan and managed to trap her in the now blocked off tunnel with no means of escape (s5ep16). Her body was discovered by Kris during her attempt six weeks later (s6ep1).

Yvonne’s death was eventually avenged in the hanging cell on the anniversary of her death. After being stabbed in the neck by an icicle wielding Julie J, the evil one breathed his last while staring at a picture of Yvonne… hurrah (s7ep10).

“Happiness is door-shaped”
The philosophy that guides Hollamby’s career.

Harding, Baxter
Tragic tot who was born in Larkhall of a HIV positive and heroin addicted mother, Spike. Buki developed a close bond with him when she worked as an assistant on the MBU and was devastated when he died (s4ep10).

Harding, Spike
Baxter’s mother, a HIV positive heroin addict. She passed her addiction and the disease onto her son.

Hardy, Judge
The judge who presided over Nikki’s appeal (s3ep16).

Harley Davidson
A highly desirable, American make of motorbike. Yvonne arranged for a Harley to be delivered to Larkhall as a birthday present for Dominic ‘Biker Boy’ McAllister (s1ep10). Many fans wondered what happened to the bike, but all was revealed when the Series 2 DVD box-set was released. In one of the deleted scenes, Dominic informs Yvonne that he sold the bike and donated the money to the PO’s Benevolent Fund, but not before indulging in “a good burn up the Old Kent Road first”.

Harvey, Stan
Teacher in the Larkhall workshop. He helped Phyl, Bev, and the others to build a motorised wheelchair for Buki’s son, Lennox (s5ep6).

Harwell, Detective Inspector
The police detective in charge of the investigation into Yvonne’s death (s6ep2).

Havers, Sergeant
The police officer who was brought into Larkhall at Joy’s request in order to formally charge Janine with drug smuggling (s8ep3).

Hayes, Alan Detective Inspector
The police detective who was in charge of the investigation into Fenner’s murder. Although he was spoilt for choice when it came to suspects—“finding a killer in here is like looking for a tart in Soho; you’re spoilt for choice.”—he chose to trust his gut instinct and focussed the investigation on his prime suspect, Di (s7ep11).

Headbutt
Used to good effect by Al on Yvonne (s3ep11), by Colin on evil Catholic Priest, Father Kelly (s7ep6), and by Pat on Natalie (s7ep7). Natalie butted a protestor who took umbrage to her being afforded the privilege of an outside visit (s7ep12).

Headscarf
Habitually worn by Fiona, producer of the fly-on-the-wall documentary that was filmed in Larkhall. Shell took advantage of the fact she bore more than a passing resemblance to Fiona by donning one of her headscarves before she drove through the gates in the film crew’s van. The disguise worked a treat and Larkhall’s gate-guards didn’t bat an eyelid as they waved the van through (s3ep7).

Health Protection Unit
Part of the Health Protection Agency and brought in by Rowan after Neil and inmate Ashlee Wilcox died of suspected ricin poisoning. The unit quarantined the prison and then began testing for a source of the epidemic. After Lou discovered a leaky air conditioning unit in Neil’s office, Rowan correctly diagnosed Legionnaire’s disease and the quarantine was lifted (s8ep1).

Hearse
When Bobby Hollamby wasn’t using his hearse to ferry coffins about, he used it to take Bodybag shopping! After a night of terrorising the Hollambys, Shell and Denny used the hearse as an unlikely getaway car (s2ep8). Later, Bobby committed suicide by gassing himself to death with the hearse’s exhaust fumes (s5ep2).

‘Heartbreak Hotel’
One of Elvis Presley’s most famous hits. Colin gave a rendition of ‘Heartbreak Hotel’ when he dressed up as ‘the King’ to deliver Julie J’s birthday ‘Elvisgram’ (s6ep8).

Heathersett, Judge
Hard-line Judge with a reputation for handing out severe sentences to convicted offenders. Tina was ecstatic when she heard Heathersett would be presiding over her arson trial, and confidently looked forward to being sent straight back to Larkhall for a long stretch. But then disaster struck. Heathersett was attacked in his own courtroom by a defendant, the recipient of a hugely long sentence, and then replaced by the more liberal, Judge Lloyd (s8ep7).

Hedges, Billy
Colin’s son. He lives in Newcastle with his mother, Marie.

Hedges, Colin
During his time walking the G-Wing landings, Colin transformed from seedy heroin addict, to goody-two-shoes. From being an officer who was despised for the part he played in Shell’s transfer to a secure psychiatric unit, Colin became someone who was liked and respected by the inmates. Romantically, he was linked to Yvonne, and then Frances. Colin was deeply affected by the death of Laura Canning (s7ep4) and it was then only a matter of time before he snapped. After heatbutting evil Catholic Priest, Father Kelly, he was suspended from duty (s7ep6).

Read Colin’s character profile.

Hedges, Marie
Colin’s ex-wife. She lives in Newcastle with their son, Billy.

Hedley, Gregory
Neil’s solicitor. He represented his client when Fenner accused him of sexual misconduct and took him to a tribunal (s6ep10).

Helicopter
After her arrest in Amsterdam, Shell resisted the UK authorities attempt to extradite her. She was eventually tricked back to the UK by Jeremy Pugh; a British diplomat who she claimed was the father of the child she was carrying. Shell didn’t realise Jeremy had no intention of helping her to escape until it was far too late. She was flown out of Holland in a helicopter (s5ep1).

Henderson, Dr
The doctor who succeeded Dr Nicholson, and preceded Rowan as Larkhall’s SMO. She treated Julie J’s self-inflicted stab-wound and was instrumental in the discovery that Julie hadn’t been taking her bipolar disorder medication (s6ep13).

Hennessy, Benjamin
Real name of Ben Phillips, the Larkhall maintenance man who actually turned out to be a driver for a laundry company. Ben would sneak into the prison to take advantage of all the lonely, sexually frustrated inmates and was eventually caught out by Neil after a tip-off from the Julies (s7ep1). Ben was remanded into custody and placed on the VPU at HMP Holdengate. With Ben’s arrival, Fenner saw an opportunity to frame him for the fatal hit-and-run he was serving time on remand for (see Phillips, Benjamin).

Herceptin
The trade name for Trastuzumab, a humanized monoclonal antibody that is used to treat breast cancer. Clinical trials have found that Herceptin can also reduce the risk of breast cancer patients by 50%, and so when she heard about it, Julie S asked about the possibility of treatment. Herceptin is extremely expensive and because of how much it costs the NHS to prescribe it, it is difficult enough for women on the outside to get it. However, Rowan saw Julie as a perfect chance to raise his profile and promised to do everything he could to help. Rowan didn’t actually care whether Julie got the drug or not, but this became a moot point when Lou put him in a hospital bed (s8ep9).

Heroin
Also known as brown, skag, horse, and smack, heroin is a natural opiate that can be smoked, snorted, or dissolved in water and injected. Zandra was addicted to heroin when she first arrived on G-Wing and nothing, not even pregnancy, could stop her from injecting herself into oblivion on regular occasions.

Phyl and Bev have dabbled with heroin, in their case by smoking it (s5ep16). Bev later became addicted and nearly killed herself by accidentally overdosing (s6e2). Roisin also tried heroin and ended up on the Muppet Wing as a result (s4ep13). However, it’s not only G-Wing’s inmates who indulge. Colin’s addiction was so severe he used to inject himself whilst on duty.

Hicks, Maddie
Rachel’s baby daughter. She was initially looked after by her grandmother when Rachel was sent down, but was later given up to the Social Services (s1ep4).

Hicks, Mrs
Rachel’s mother. On Shell’s orders, Rachel asked her to collect a package of drugs before visiting, but she refused (s1ep4). After Rachel’s suicide, she very nearly dropped Shell in it by telling Helen about the package. Shell had to resort to some very quick-thinking to explain her way out of trouble (s1ep5).

Hicks, Rachel
Rachel was only seventeen when she was sent to Larkhall and much too vulnerable and naïve to cope with prison life. She was seduced by Fenner and bullied unmercifully by Shell and Denny. After hearing the news that her baby daughter, Maddie, had been taken into care, Rachel decided she had nothing more to live for and committed suicide (s1ep4).

Read Rachel’s character profile.

Hit-man
Yvonne was convicted of conspiracy to murder after she hired a hit-man to bump off one of her husband, Charlie’s business rivals. She later discovered that Charlie and his mistress, Renee Williams, set her up (s2ep13). Hiring hit-men seems to be an Atkins family habit. Although it has never been conclusively proved, it is assumed Lauren Atkins hired the hit-man who shot her father, Charlie, dead (s3ep5). Yvonne later worked through Lauren to arrange for someone to get rid of Fenner (s5ep15), but the attempt failed.

Holdengate, HMP
Male prison where Fenner was remanded. As an ex-screw, he was viciously bullied by his fellow inmates and therefore, forced to ask for a transfer to Holdengate’s Vulnerable Prisoners Unit (s7ep1).

Hole-punch
A common piece of office equipment, that is used to create holes in sheets of paper. Hollamby was too E’d up to care when she opened up her 30th Anniversary present and found a hole-punch in the presentation box. The real present, a gold carriage clock, had been stolen by Crystal (s2ep13).

Hollamby, Bobby
Bodybag’s late husband. He ran his own undertaking business until crippling debts and impending bankruptcy drove him to suicide (s5ep2).

Hollamby, Constance
One of Hollamby’s daughters. They argued after Hollamby spanked her granddaughter, also named Constance, and now no longer speak.

Hollamby, Bobby Darren
Hollamby’s son. He gave his mother away at her wedding to Dr Nicholson and ended up in bed with Neil (s7ep6)! Bobby Darren’s homosexuality disgusted his mother and so their relationship was always on the fragile side. Things came to a head when he invited Hollamby to spend Christmas with him and his partner, Brian. She refused, and a vicious argument ensued. After a nightmare visit from Natalie’s ghost, Hollamby saw the error of her ways and made amends (s8ep11).

Hollamby, Gayle
One of Hollamby’s daughters.

Hollamby, Sylvia
Aka Bodybag. Evil old trout who believes all Larkhall’s inmates should be locked up in their cells 24-7 and fed nothing but bread and water. She’s hated by the inmates because of her nasty streak and despised by her fellow POs because of her archaic attitude and chronic laziness. Despite her ineptitude, she has twice been promoted to Acting Wing Governor (s4ep11, s8ep9).

Read Hollamby’s character profile.

Holmes, Sherlock
Neil reluctantly dressed up as Sherlock Holmes when Joy ordered her POs to show some Christmas Spirit… and a right wally he looked too (s7ep13).

Honeypie
One of the two main characters in Janine and Darlene’s novel.

Honey Trap
A method of espionage popular with Soviet, Cuban, and Eastern European intelligence services during the Cold War. Usually, a woman would be used to engage businessmen and officials from the West in sexual liaisons to retrieve intelligence and to achieve subservience. A new twist was applied to the method when Yvonne cajoled Denny into a mini-skirt and high-heels in an attempt to soften Al up. The ploy worked and before long, a love-struck Al coughed the identity of Virginia’s killer (s4ep4).

Hook, Caroline Detective Sergeant
One of the police detectives who investigated Fenner’s murder. Affectionately known as ‘Hooky’ by her guv’nor, DI Hayes, Hook remained the voice of reason when he grew convinced that Di was the murderer. Even she was unable to come up with a credible explanation when Di was caught trying to dispose of a uniform covered in Fenner’s blood (s7ep11).

Hosepipe
Very effective when turned on ‘Mad’ Tessa Spall by Fenner and Dominic. Tessa had taken Karen hostage and was threatening to inject her with a syringe full of HIV infected blood. The high-pressure jet of water incapacitated Tessa and gave Karen the opportunity to make her escape (s2ep5).

Hospital Wing
Where Larkhall’s inmates are taken for medical treatment. It has been the scene of many a G-Wing drama including Fenner’s near-death experience (s3ep1), Denny nearly choking to death on her own blood (s3ep5), Snowball’s bout of self-inflicted salmonella (s5ep4), and nearly the whole wing suffering the effects of oxalic poisoning (s6ep7 – ep8). Bev was confined to the hospital wing after she was shot. Rowan saw right through her sudden attack of paranoia, and so she blackmailed him into giving her a temporary transfer to a cushy private hospital (s8ep2).

Howe, Sally Ann
Incredibly brave ex-police officer who was raped by DC Gossard, the man Nikki killed. Sally Ann came forward to testify at Nikki’s appeal and her evidence was instrumental in the court’s decision to reduce her murder conviction to manslaughter (s3ep16).

Hugo
Dr Nicholson’s dodgy, antique dealing crony. He vastly undervalued some of the antiques and paintings in the house Hollamby inherited from her Aunt Margaret, and then divvied up his ill-gotten gains with Dr Nicholson (s7ep3).

Hunger Strike
Crystal went on hunger strike after a sample of her urine tested positive for drugs. It later transpired that Di had swapped Crystal’s clean sample with Charlotte Myddleton’s (s3ep9). After a second test proved the samples had been swapped, Crystal was exonerated and started eating again (s3ep10).

Hunt, Amanda
Barbara’s stepdaughter from hell. She and her brother, Greg, were furious when their father left his millions to his second wife, Barbara. With the help of a private detective, they discovered that Barbara had bigamously married their father and became convinced she’d murdered him for his money (s3ep4).

Hunt, Barbara
Prison was a huge shock to Barbara, and for a while, it looked like she would sink rather than swim. A confrontation with Shell in which she broke the blonde bully’s wrist, saw her come into her own (s2ep9), and she eventually became a trusted member of ‘the gang’. Her new friends flocked to help when her stepchildren accused her of murdering their father, but when the bigamous state of this marriage was revealed; even those closest to her began to suspect her guilt (s3ep4). Barbara won her friends over by pledging a huge sum of money to build a new halfway house and was later vindicated when the police dropped all the charges against her (s3ep15). A devout Christian, Barbara was a regular fixture in the chapel where she met the man who became her third husband, Chaplain Henry Mills.

Read Barbara’s character profile.

Hunt, Greg
Barbara’s stepson from hell. He and his sister, Amanda, were furious when their father left his millions to his second wife, Barbara. With the help of a private detective, they discovered that Barbara had bigamously married their father and became convinced she’d murdered him for his money (s3ep4).

Hunt, Peter
Barbara’s second husband, a multi-millionaire who developed lung cancer. After helping Peter to commit suicide, Barbara was charged with and, later convicted of manslaughter. It later transpired that Barbara had married Peter bigamously after her first husband, Arthur, refused to give her a divorce.

Hutton, Graham
Roisin and Cassie’s solicitor.