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Macbeth
Possibly William Shakespeare’s most popular work. Macbeth was performed at David Saunders’ school with him in the lead role. During the “is this a knife I see before me” scene, Julie S was hit by a feeling that all was not well with Julie J. So overwhelming was the feeling that she tried to bust her way back into Larkhall. She arrived just in the nick of time to stop Julie J slashing her wrists (s3ep3).

Mace
A chemical spray which is intended to render an assailant harmless when used on his/her face. Natalie’s ‘brother’, Clive, secreted a can of mace in the bathroom of the hotel room used for their outside visit. Natalie sprayed the mace into her escort; Kevin’s face and then made a break for it. Kevin was soon hot on Natalie’s heels, but by that time, her escape had already been thwarted by a crowd of protesters who had been tipped off by Pat (s7ep12).

Mackay, Christy
Larkhall chaplain who arrived in time to lead Yvonne’s anniversary memorial service (s7ep10). Joy took a great shine to Christie and recruited her to help spread a little bit of Christmas cheer on G-Wing. The arrival of mystery inmate, Miranda ‘daughter of Satan’ Miles put a bit of a dampener on the festivities, as did Christie walking into the chapel and finding Kevin and Natalie about to embark on a kinky shag on the altar. Natalie decided the only way out of the predicament was to shut Christie up for good and manipulated Miranda into stabbing her to death (s7ep13).

Maggots
Seen squiggling and squirming on a joint of rotten meat Fenner found in his locker shortly after the discovery of Yvonne’s body. It was accompanied by a note, “Rot in hell Fenner” (s6ep3).

Magic Mushrooms
A particular kind of mushroom which grows in the wild and which produces similar effects to LSD when it is eaten. Shaz and Denny ate a bag of magic mushrooms during their inter-prison visit and ended up sitting on an upside-down table, convinced they were floating on a raft in the middle of shark-infested waters. They were both, initially completely oblivious when Snowball’s bomb exploded across the corridor. Although Denny came to her senses, Shaz was still seeing sharks and refused to move from the ‘raft’ when Julie S and Al broke through the locked door. Denny was forced to leave her to burn to death in the ensuing fire (s4ep16).

Mail Order
The first call Shell made on her smuggled mobile phone was to Hollamby. Calling herself Penny, from “mail order customer services”, Shell rang Hollamby to confirm her order for “one deluxe double-sized bed”. Hollamby panicked and denied all knowledge of the order, much to Shell’s delight (s2ep1).

Shell called Hollamby from Spain, this time to do a “customer satisfaction survey”. When Penny asked, “on a scale of one-to-ten, how do you rate your husband’s performance on this mattress? Or is he still more comfortable in a coffin?” Hollamby finally twigged (s3pe16). After a cackling Shell hung up, Hollamby went into complete hysterics, convinced Shell was coming back to finish her off for good (s4ep1).

Male Escort
A man who provides sexual favours in exchange for money. After Nikki put her in contact with an agency, Yvonne managed to smuggle two male escorts into Larkhall, one in the guise of a solicitor (s3ep4), and one who posed as a visiting local businessman at the Open Day (s4ep16).

Mandatory Drugs Testing (MDT)
A urine test given to about 10% of the prison population on a monthly basis. Names of the inmates to be tested are randomly selected, although inmates can also be tested if they are suspected of using drugs.

Manhole
Old, abandoned, and discovered by Pat in the laundry room (s8ep7). The manhole covered up an entrance to the Larkhall sewer system, an ideal place to dispose of Natalie’s decomposing corpse (s8ep9).

Manor House, HMP
After being charged with Fenner’s murder, Di was remanded to HMP Manor House. But Di was desperate to be sent to Larkhall, convinced that once there, she would be able to smoke out Fenner’s real killer. Di pleaded with Neil to pull some strings and arrange a place for her on G-Wing (s7ep12).

Map
Smuggled to Natalie through the Inter Library Loan Scheme. Natalie had been granted an outside visit and the map showed the route she would take after making her escape (s7ep9).

Marbella Suite
Luxury suite at the Hotel Americanas, a luxury hotel on the Costa del Sol. The suite was kept for the exclusive use of Russian gangster, Sergei Konchalovsky, but was sublet to Phyl and Bev by one of the hotel’s employees, an old friend of theirs called Paco (s7ep9).

Marcia
A black inmate who was mistaken for Darlene by Tanya, and then later was the first recipient of Tanya’s ‘gangsta’ act. Marcia didn’t appreciate being patronised and introduced herself to Tanya as, “a sister who is gonna mash your head if you don’t get outta my space” (s6ep6).

Margaret, Aunt
Hollamby’s aunt. Margaret was ignored by her niece during her lifetime because she was an eccentric, lifelong spinster (i.e. gay), but lauded after her death because she left Hollamby a palatial, antique-stuffed house in Hampstead in her will and made the undeserving old sow a millionaire (s7ep2).

Marieke
Manager of the Kaberet Kum Bij Go-Go, the strip-club Shell worked in during her time on the run in Amsterdam (s5ep1) (see Kaberet Kum Bij Go-Go).

Mark
Natalie’s supposed terminally ill nephew and son of her so-called brother, Clive. Natalie used Mark as an excuse for an outside visit during which she planned to make her escape (s7ep12).

Marker Pen
Stolen from an art class by Barbara on Shell’s orders. Shell used the pen to draw a moustache on her own face, and then forced Barbara to write “Fenner is a rapist” on the corridor wall (s2ep6).

Margarine
Denny used a generous handful of this greasy, foul-tasting butter substitute to de-crutch Zandra (s1ep2).

Marie
Also known as the ‘Black Widow’ because of the gross spider-web tattoo on her face. Marie was a Series 1 extra who shared the four-bed dorm with Crystal, Denny, and Zandra.

Marijuana
Aka cannabis, blow, grass, weed, puff, and draw, marijuana is the most widely used drug in the UK. It has been smoked at one stage or another by most of G-Wing’s inmates and used to be grown by Nikki in the prison garden.

Mary
The midwife who delivered Zandra’s son, Robbie (s2ep1). Also the name of Monica’s sister.


Mascara
Helen’s very first scene in Bad Girls showed her trying to apply her mascara whilst driving to work. After receiving a very dodgy look from the PO on gate duty, Helen finally checked her appearance and realised she had given herself a pair of panda eyes (s1ep1).

Mastectomy
The surgical removal of a woman’s breast, a procedure performed almost exclusively for the treatment of breast cancer. Julie S was given a mastectomy after a cancerous lump was found in one of her breasts (s5ep9).

Masterton, Joy
Governing Governor who was brought in to replace Neil (s7ep11). Ex-Army and hard as nails, she introduced a rigid regime of discipline and seems hell-bent on turning the prison into a boot-camp. The arrival of Stella Gough—an ambitious inmate whose dream was to join the Army—seemed to be an answer to Joy’s prayers, that was until she discovered Stella was the daughter she gave up for adoption (s8ep4).

Read Joy’s character profile.

Matryoshka Doll
A wooden Russian doll which can be pulled apart to reveal another figure of the same sort inside. It has in turn another figure inside, and so on. Miranda ‘daughter of Satan’ Miles crutched a set of Matryoshka dolls and smuggled them into Larkhall. She used to talk to them (s7ep13).

Mattingley
The restaurant where Phyl and Bev took the phrase “Open Prison” a little too literally. After running up an astronomical bill which they then tried to settle with a bogus credit card, they managed to dupe the intellectually challenged waiter into allowing them to send a cheque in the post. However, their luck ran out when they walked out of the restaurant and straight into the arms of the police (s5ep13).

Mayfair
An upmarket area in London that is the most expensive property on a British Monopoly board. Hollamby rented a Mayfair flat from Phyl and Bev. She didn’t discover that they had conned her into renting a flat that belonged to someone else until the police burst in while she was taking a bath (s5ep5).

Mayford, Lisa
Larkhall PO who ran off with Sandy’s partner, Sandy (s8ep11).

McAllister, Dominic
As a PO, Dominic was the male equivalent of Helen: young, idealistic, and primarily concerned with the welfare of G-Wing’s inmates. Always kind and with integrity running through him like the letters in a stick of Blackpool rock, Dominic was one of the few officers the women felt they could turn to. He was incredibly attracted to Helen, but was knocked back when he tried to make a pass at her (s2ep12). Shortly afterwards, Dominic left for a holiday in Greece, but his stay became a permanent one when he fell in love with a local girl.

Read Dominic’s character profile.

McCracken, Phil
Fill – my – crack – in… geddit? Phil was a product of Shaz’s twisted imagination, a penpal for Buki who was invented in retaliation for the collapse of her escape tunnel (s4ep5). Just as Shaz and Denny hoped, Buki fell for Phil in a big way. She was mortified when Shaz and Denny trumpeted the truth in front of the entire wing (s5ep7). Unable to cope with the humiliation, Buki resorted to cutting-up and injured herself much more seriously than she intended (s4ep8).

McKenzie, Al
Quick with her mouth and her fists, Al was a Glaswegian bully who provided the muscle for the Peckham Boot Gang. After Maxi’s death, she was recruited by Phyl to support her brief stint as G-Wing’s top-dog. Originally doing time for GBH, Al also ended up with a life sentence after murdering Virginia in the bath-tub (s3ep16). In Al’s case, life meant just that—she died as a result of oxalic poisoning (s6ep6).

Read Al’s character profile.

McLaughlin, Marion
Barrister who represented Nikki at her appeal (s3ep16).

MDT Room
A room where the screws take the piss out of the inmates… albeit in sterile specimen pots which are then tested for the presence of drugs! The POs did get a taste of their own medicine when Frances ordered blanket testing in an attempt to flush out Colin. Her plan failed when Colin injected all of the screw’s samples with a small quantity of heroin (s6ep5).

Meadows, Mr
Headmaster of David Saunders’ posh boarding-school. Thanks to Monica’s quick-thinking, he believes Julie S is very high-up in the travel industry and that her long absences are due to business trips abroad (s3ep3).

Meat Wagon
Fan’s nickname for the van which transports prisoners from court to prison, and also from one prison to another when they are being transferred.

Medium
An individual who claims to have the ability to receive messages from spirits, or claims that he/she can channel such entities. Julie S is a self-proclaimed medium—she decided Crystal and Josh were meant to be together after reading Crystal’s tea-leaves (s2ep4). Bev claimed to be able to contact the dead, often displaying an uncanny knowledge of the subject she was in contact with. Of course, it was just another big con. She and Phyl would get the inside story on the deceased from other inmates beforehand.

Mel
The evil red-band who sold Zandra drugs while she was on the MBU (s2ep1).

Memorial Service
A service held in the prison chapel to provide the inmates with the opportunity to mourn the passing of one of their number. Rachel (s1ep5), Zandra (s2ep9), Shaz (s5ep1), Noreen (s5ep12), and Yvonne (s7ep10) have all had services held in their memories.

Mermaid
The subject of a tattoo Bev designed for Al. The design depicted a rather buxom mermaid surrounded by drowning sailors and was commissioned for a wrap of heroin (s6ep1).

Merriman, Snowball
She may have had the face of an angel, but inside, Snowball was manipulative, evil, and as cold as a polar bear’s bum. Totally without conscience, she planted a bomb in the library and then made her escape (s4ep16). She also had a will of iron, once giving herself salmonella by eating raw chicken during one of her countless escape attempts (s5ep4). Other than herself, there was only one person Snowball cared about: Yvonne’s son, Ritchie. When he committed suicide, nothing was going to stop her following him (s5ep10).

Read Snowball’s character profile.

Methadone
A synthetic opiate used as a substitute for heroin in the treatment of addiction. Desperate to put the kybosh on Sheena’s parole prospects, Di spiked her tea with a healthy dose of methadone syrup, and then hid the bottle in Sheena’s pocket. Sheena was later found doped out of her skull and as a result, her parole was cancelled. As a result, Di was able to continue fostering Sheena’s son, Dylan (s7ep8).

Middlemarch
A novel by George Eliot and widely seen as her greatest work. One of the many books read by Nikki when she was banged-up (s1ep3).

Mikhail
A psychopathic Russian gangster and the rightful owner of bag of diamonds stolen first by his ‘colleague’, Sergei Konchalovksy, and then by Phyl and Bev. After torturing the location of the diamonds from Sergei, he arrived at the hotel to find them gone. But this was the least of his problems, as he discovered when armed police arrested him in the hotel foyer (s7ep9).

Miles, Miranda
Miranda’s transformation from harmless nursery school teacher to daughter of Satan began when she fell asleep at the wheel of a mini-bus and caused the death of six children. During her transfer to a secure hospital, Miranda was dropped off at Larkhall by mistake, and without any paperwork. Joy’s decision to allow her onto G-Wing for Christmas was a tragic mistake. She stabbed Christie to death in the shower with a sharpened crucifix (s7ep13).

Miles, Paula
PO who worked on G-Wing from Series 5 – 6. She is credited with possessing the patience of a saint for holding onto her temper whilst processing Phyl and Bev (s5ep3), and then later, Darlene (s6ep2) through reception. Paula also overheard Hollamby making a series of racist remarks. She complained to Frances who decided to send Hollamby on a race-relations course (s6ep5).

Milk
Phyl and Bev spiked the milk in the PO’s office with poisonous extract of rhubarb leaves. Unfortunately, before Bev could make the screw’s tea, Julie S borrowed the milk to make the inmate’s pancakes and the wrong people were poisoned (s6ep6).

Miller, PO
PO at HMP Holdengate, the prison where Fenner was sent on remand (s7ep1). He made it very clear to Fenner that he shouldn’t expect special treatment, and then went out of his way to make the evil one’s life as uncomfortable as possible… what a gent.

Mills, Clive
Henry’s brother, a complete git. Clive was determined to stop his brother marrying Barbara and waited until the ceremony to make his feelings for her very clear. Furious when Clive called his beloved a murderer, Henry had him escorted out of the prison (s5ep16).

Mills, Henry Rev.
Larkhall’s chaplain until his relationship with Barbara forced him to resign (s5ep13). Kind, sensitive and compassionate, Henry was the perfect prison chaplain; it was just unfortunate that even twenty years of army life did nothing to prepare him for dealing with violent and hysterical women.

Read Henry’s character profile.

Mini Bev
Name given to the voodoo doll Phyl and Bev used to terrorise Hollamby. Bodybag fell hook, line, and sinker for Phyl and Bev’s tricks and even resorted to drinking her own wee four times a day in order to break the curse (s7ep2) (see Voodoo Doll).

Miracle
Wheelchair-bound Virginia claimed a holy miracle when Maxi and Al proved she was as able-bodied as the next inmate (s3ep15). Crystal also tried to claim that God was responsible for her pregnancy. The guilty party was actually Josh (s3ep16).

Miscarriage
In the very first episode of Bad Girls, pregnant inmate Carol Byatt suffered a miscarriage in her cell (s1ep1). Gina suffered a miscarriage after a fist-fight with Di got out of hand (s3ep14).

Mistaken Identity
Hollamby dropped one of the biggest clangers of her career when she mistook new inmate Barbara Hunt for ‘Mad’ Tessa Spall. While Barbara was dragged down to the block and sedated, Tessa was processed through reception and allocated a cell on G-Wing. The mix-up enabled Tessa to get close enough to Karen to take her hostage (s2ep5).

Mitchell, Josh
Josh began his career at Larkhall in the works department and earned a bit of extra money on the side by smuggling stuff into the prison for Yvonne. Later, he trained as a PO and was assigned to work on G-Wing. Josh’s Achilles heel was his romantic relationship with Crystal. When she became pregnant, he had no choice but to resign (s5ep1).

Read Josh’s character profile.

Mitchell, Zandra
Crystal and Josh’s baby daughter. She was born on the floor of the four-bed dorm and named after Crystal’s best friend, Zandra Plackett (s4ep9).

Mobile Phone
Shell arranged to have a phone smuggled into Larkhall and then made anonymous calls to Marilyn Fenner (s2ep1 – ep2). Josh smuggled four phones onto G-Wing for Yvonne to use for the Babes Behind Bars telephone sex line (s2ep8).

Moped
Owned and ridden by Selena, this particular funky moped was supposed to drive her and Kris to freedom. But then Kris ran into Yvonne’s body whilst trying to make her escape through the hanging cell. Probably a good job too, as a getaway vehicle, the moped is a complete non-starter: a sedated tortoise moves faster (s6ep1).

More, Thomas Sister
Catholic nun who was sentenced to six months imprisonment for embezzlement and theft (s7ep5). It transpired that the nun wasn’t as saintly as she appeared when Pat revealed the extent of the horrific abuse she and her friend, Lucy, were subjected to at the children’s home run by Sister Thomas (s7ep6).

Morley, Alex
Natalie’s ex-boyfriend. He was accused of sexually abusing his daughters and later convicted of indecent assault. Natalie was charged with conspiracy, but the case against her fell through. A newspaper cutting detailing the case was pushed underneath the Julies’ cell door (s6ep1).

Mormonism
A branch of Christianity in which followers are not allowed to drink alcohol, take drugs, smoke tobacco, or consume anything that contains caffeine, i.e. coffee and tea. Darlene decided to become a Mormon when she discovered that they are allowed a daily ration of cocoa (s6ep3).

Morrison, Damian
Rhiannon Dawson’s ex-boyfriend. When the Julies discovered that Damian was pimping Rhiannon out to other men, they decided to teach him a lesson and tipped an urn full of boiling water in his lap (s4ep6).

Mother and Baby Unit (MBU)
A specialist area of Larkhall where inmates can keep their babies with them until they reach the age of nine months (this does vary from prison to prison). As well as babies born to inmates, the MBU is also a home to women who already have young babies at the time of their imprisonment. Spaces on MBUs are limited and it may be that babies have to be cared for by someone on the outside.

Mouth-to-Mouth Resuscitation
Otherwise known as CPR (Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation), mouth-to-mouth is an emergency first aid protocol for an unconscious person on whom neither breathing nor pulse can be detected. Hollamby was the unlikely hero when Buki was dragged out of the collapsed tunnel under the potting-shed. On this occasion, she managed not to flap in a crisis and performed mouth-to-mouth until Buki regained consciousness (s4ep6).

Mulled Wine
A traditional Christmas drink made by combining red wine with spices. Joy bribed the inmates to join in with her festive carol service by offering mulled wine as an incentive (s7ep13).

Mums and Bums
Inmates’ nickname for Larkhall’s Mother and Baby unit.

Mural
Bev brightened up the cell she and Phyl originally shared on G-Wing by slapping paint all over it (s5ep4). She and Phyl were later paid to paint a seaside mural on the walls of the Julies’ cell (s5ep15).

Larkhall’s very own Linda Barker, Catherine Earlham, painted the walls of her cell in preparation for an “at home” with a celebrity magazine. She and her apprentice, Darlene, also painted a large Rastafarian-themed mural on the walls of the G1 landing (s8ep10).

Myddleton, Charlotte Hon.
Aristocrat Charlotte was totally unaccustomed to mixing with the lower classes when she first arrived at Larkhall and quickly alienated her fellow inmates (s3ep9). After Charlotte was tormented into a suicide attempt, Yvonne was beset by conscience and decided to befriend her (s3ep10). After a brief stay on G-Wing, Charlotte was transferred to an open prison (s3ep11).

Myddleton, Lady
Charlotte's mother.

Myers, Frances
Frances took over as G-Wing Governor after a brief stint spent working undercover as a G-Wing inmate (s6ep1). Her appointment ruffled more than a few feathers as inmates and POs alike quickly learned that she was definitely not to be messed with. Frances was eventually rewarded for her good work on G-Wing with a promotion to Governing Governor and a transfer to HMP Whitehouse.